Memories of our Divine Mother: 1.
IT BEGAN IN INDIA
The Paraclete Shri Mataji
There are many, many stories and memories of our Divine Mother, which have not yet been recorded on video, audio or set to paper but yet have been experienced and treasured by thousands of Her children.
From this ocean of memories, until now only held in trust by each of us, as our individual experience, some few sweet stories have now been collected in this volume.
This book is our history - incomplete, fragmentary and as vulnerable as memories are. This is our living history - a history of that culture that we call Sahaja Yoga. It chronicles the growth of our limited awareness of our Mother, Her Holiness Shri Mataji Nirmala. It records our discovery of ourself. And it celebrates our relationship with each of our brothers and sisters, whose every experience is also our own.
Thank you, Shri Mataji, for allowing us to collect these beautiful remembrances of Your care and love, of the laughter and gentle correction, of actually being with You and experiencing first hand Your Incarnation. From the simple way You lift a teacup, we can learn so much.
Thank you for the warmth and simplicity and all the many ways in which You shower Your Love. And thank you for the great play of Shri Mahamaya that makes seekers love and trust You, often without yet understanding the Truth that You are.
The heart of this book is to remind us of the magic of Sahaja Yoga. The spirit of this book is to help future brothers and sisters to know a small part of the beauty and glory of Shri Mataji as a loving, caring Mother whose wonderful power of divine love dispels all our uncertainties.
Sift now through the words that we found when we tried to remember. What follows is our collective memory, our story together . ..
1. IT BEGAN IN INDIA
1) Raolbai said:
You are fortunate you saw me
Shri Mataji used to stay at Jeevan Jyot [in 1970] and was known as Nirmala Srivastava. I asked some girls where did Nirmala Srivastava stay. When I went up, I saw Shri Mataji. She opened the door and said," Are you looking for Me?"She held me by hand and took me inside very politely and asked me to sit on the cot."Where are you coming from?" "I am coming from Dhulia and I have heard your name and came looking for you." "I am about to start this work and right now I am waiting for the delivery of my daughter, Kalpana. Once I am through with that, I will call you. Please leave your name and address before you leave and within a month I shall call you."
We all went from Bombay to Bordi in train with Shri Mataji. We were all together. Mother would talk to all of us. We would follow Her wherever She went. I would never leave Mother, as I wanted to see what Mother did. I would follow Her and do as She directed, without any question.
We all were in some school for the stay at night and after dinner we all moved up in our rooms."Look at Raolbai from Dhulia. She always has her attention on what I am doing and not like others who are busy wasting their attention on trifle matter."She used to call me Rajkunwar.
After dinner She would start giving Realization to people. She asked me to keep my hands under Her Lotus Feet. [Mr.] Modi used to understand everything. I personally never understood anything, as for me what She said was it. If She said I was realized now, for me I was that.
She worked on my back like this [raising of the kundalini]. Then Mother looked very lovingly and sang a beautiful song," Par Brahma Parmeshwar."She sang so beautifully. That face was so joyous, so loving, happy. And like this, She gave Realization to four or five people till midnight. Next day She used to sit alone and call each one individually to give Self Realization.
While returning back in the train, She asked us whether we had thoughts or not. I would say politely that I don't know what's happening. Then Mother asked us to put our hands in front of Her and whether we felt cool vibrations. Again I would reply innocently that I do not feel anything."Raolbai, you are from Dhulia and I want you to come to my house tomorrow. All of you who felt vibration must meditate every morning and evening, so as to go deep and feel the vibrations."
I used to stay with my daughter in a one room apartment and at around 4 am I was awakened naturally and I was shocked to see Mataji in front of me in same position as when She gave Self Realization in Bordi. v When next day I met Shri Mataji, She asked me," Do you get thoughts by putting attention on Me?"v I said," No."
Mataji told me that I have attained my thoughtless state."What did you see in the morning?"
"Mother, I saw you in meditating pose."v "For all people whom I gave Self Realization yesterday, I was meditating in the morning for them. As you all are new and do not understand, you are fortunate that you saw Me."
2) Avdhut Pai said:
She was very happy to be hearing my name
I got my Realization on the fourteenth of April 1972 in a place called" " it was big apartment called Jeevan Jyot. It was owned by Shipping Corporation of India and since Sir CP was the chairman of the shipping corporation, Shri Mataji used to receive people in Her house every day in '72, before going to America.
I would relate the first experience of meditation. I was told to sit quiet for some time and with closing my eyes. I might have closed for fifteen minutes, but I thought maybe I had closed for about two hours. Anyway, so then they said I got my Realization and then we were suppose to go to Shri Mataji. And She was in a white sari, just sitting with Her legs in front."You can either go and put your head under Her Feet" " which were resting horizontally to the ground with a support under Her Feet" " or you can go towards Her hand."When my turn came, I was near Her hand and She put some Amla Oil" " oil in India, you get" " on my head. And She asked me how do I feel. I said," Very fine."She asked me my name and She was very happy to be hearing my name. Anyway, so this was it.
3) Niranjan Mavinkurve said:
His search for God led us
I got my first Realization on 12th August 1973. The credit for this Realization goes to my eldest brother, Maruti, who had a yearning for getting Realization for a number of years. His search for God led us to meet Mataji.
On a fine day of 12th August, we read an article written by one Marathi newspaper editor about Shri Mataji and Sahaja Yoga and that led us to approach him in his office. We went to see him and he explained how things had happened to him. He told us to visit Bharata Vidya Bhavan on that same day. We left his place and went to Bharata Vidya Bhavan about three o'clock and, to our surprise, nobody was there to tell us what Sahaja Yoga is. We came out of the hall and telephoned back to his office, asking," Where do we find Mataji?"He said," Oh, this is not the time. You must come after six or seven in the evening."
On the very same day in the evening we again went to Bharatiya Vidya Bhavan, where Mataji was giving Realization to a very few people, ten or fifteen people. We both of us sat there and, this being a very early stage of Sahaja, Mataji was Herself working hard to give Realization and raising our kundalinis. To my great surprise, when She touched my fontanelle, on my head, there was a flash and I saw" " so-called" " at that time I was not knowing it was the Agnya chakra" " a Christ crucified. It was for five or six seconds, just a flash. I myself wondered why" " I myself being a Hindu and a great hater of Christianity" " should get a vision of a crucified Christ. But I didn't speak anything at that time. I started enjoying it. I just closed my eyes and Mother said," You got Realization at the very first sitting."
4) Niranjan Mavinkurve said:
Slowly it settled
Shri Mataji opened the Sahasrara at Nargol in 1970. I am not one of the initial eleven disciples, out of which hardly one or two are living now. I was one of the second batch, so to say in '73.
In those days we had programs every day. We used to meet every day at Bharata Vidya Bhavan in the evening and then slowly it spread.
And then we used to have in Pune, one Mr. Rajwade, at his place Mataji gave Realization to many people. Mr. Rajwade was a staunch brahmin and was against all these things and refused to come. He allowed a discourse at his residence. He was sitting down in his room. And after half an hour or so he came trembling in front of Mother and said," I never realized you are the Devi."And then he got his Realization in 1973.
And later on he was a strong supporter and he spread Sahaja Yoga in Pune. Pune, being full of brahmins, intellectual people, they opposed this tooth and nail initially. But slowly it settled.
5) Shailaja Glover said:
You can't take the vibrations
Early days in India and after a puja, Mother used to call a few of us to suck the vibrations, rub Her Feet very hard and take the vibrations, as She lay down. And She used to say," It's too much. I really can't bear it because you can't take them."And after the puja, it is tremendous for Her.
6) Niranjan Mavinkurve said:
She taught us how to do so many things
There used to be a special training program and during the Navaratri days we used to reach on the terrace of Mother's building. Mother would come there and give us lecture and further training. We used to leave there at four o'clock in the morning, till 6:30 in the morning. Around twenty-four, twenty-five people would be gathering at seven and we would come down to Her flat on the first floor, take some breakfast, tea and disperse. At that time nobody was allowed to tape record any of Her discourses. She said," No, you must grasp it aurally, no use of tape recorder."
Shri Mataji used to let us give Realization in those days. We used to put our leg at the Mooladhara and start giving Realization, so that the kundalini would rise, ascending. And we used to give Realization to so many people. I had not given Realization to more than fifteen or twenty people because at that time the methods were not so much developed. Mataji Herself was doing great research. And now that it is at the stroke of a second and we can say it is at internet speed that Sahaja Yoga is spreading. But initially it took a long time to get Realization. She had to Herself go out and give Realization. She taught us how to do so many things, like balancing of the both sides and raising the kundalini.
Putting a bandhan came a little later. At that time, there was no bandhan. At that time a lot of baddhas were coming away. Then She realized that it would be a good idea to put a bandhan. So it was sort of an evolutionary development and now it is a full-fledged system and people don't have to do much. Just sitting before the photograph also, one gets Realization.
Initially we did not raise the kundalini like now and that too came later. She stressed that too much stress should not be given to the bandhan. It so happened that every person used to do a bandhan without realizing its implication or its importance. People started criticizing and so She said don't do it in open places, only when you are in a hall or something, do it. People used to go in the trains and do this and others used to think," These are mad people, doing this. Maybe they are doing some sort of a magic type of thing."
Footsoaking and other treatments came later. Actually we used to go to the sea with Mataji, footsoaking in the sea. And that is how Ganapatipule came in because you know there is the sea and it is a very clean sea. Before that we used to go to Bordi. We went many times to Bordi. Nargol is very near from there. When we were at Bordi, the sea was there. But, of course, not everybody lives near the sea, so the alternative was footbath soaking.
And then there was the shoebeating, which She showed us. In Bombay people don't do it much now. What happened was that whenever Mother says something, people do too much of it. So Mother later said to the Bombay people," You must put more attention on dhyana, [meditation] and the shoebeating is a more external method" " so more attention of dhyana."
7) Raolbai said:
This is Nirmal Vidya
She would explain how we have to remain in the collectivity and behave as Sahaja Yogis. She always gave and is giving importance to meditation. She made all of us meditate and one by one put attention on all the chakras. This Mooladhara and then you go upwards and so on."This is nirmal vidya and nobody has taught Me all this, nor have I read any book," She would say."I have meditated on each chakra and discovered the secrets of each one, like Mooladhara, what it looks like, what are qualities and so on. Every night I would meditate for eight hours. I have worked hard for all of you and now you have to work hard and meditate in the morning. I would work eight hours on every chakra. I would request you people to work for one hour on every chakra for eight days and then move on. Like every morning, meditate for one hour on Mooladhara for eight days and then move on to Swadisthana and so on. Then you all will learn the secrets and shakti of all the chakras."
2. THE BEGINNINGS IN ENGLAND
8) Douglas Fry said:
I've found this new sort of yoga
First of all, the area where I used to live was round by Euston, near Tolmers Square [in London] and that area was a sort of high energy area. There were a lot of squatters and things like that there. We used to have a little community club there and one day [in 1973] this fellow turned up" " Mukund Shah" " to teach us yoga. Over a year he tried all sorts of different yoga and meditation and then one day he went to see Shri Mataji and, because he had so much experience of so many sorts of yoga, he tended to be a bit skeptical and he felt vibrations, but not to sort of quantify it.
So he had this group of half a dozen of us that he used to teach yoga. So he said," Look, I've found this new sort of yoga and all we have to do is sit down in front of this photograph of Shri Mataji and put your hands to it."And he produced a little black and white photograph. It wasn't much bigger than a postcard. And we sat there in his rather cold draughty, old bank that we used to use as a social club and we sat there with our hands like this before Shri Mataji's photograph. There was about five or six of us. And he came round and felt our hands and asked us what we felt and we all felt different sorts of things because we were all in different sorts of states of awareness due to what we'd done before. And anyway, we all obviously felt something and he said," You get these vibrations from Shri Mataji. Would you like to come and meet Her at the Bharata Vidya Bhavan?"[which was at that time on New Oxford Street].
Well, the following Friday, I believe, we went off to the Bharata Vidya Bhavan and we met Shri Mataji and we just sort of sat there at the back and listened to what She had to say and we realized it was something really nice. And She was working on somebody at the time. At that particular point we were aware that it was something special, but we had an inkling of what it might be, but weren't prepared to admit to anybody, least of all ourselves, that we had actually met Adi Shakti. But I think, basically, we knew that it was special.
Then we went to Bharata Vidya Bhavan about two or three times and then, because we wanted to go somewhere else, because the series was over, we moved to a house in Clare Court, Judd Street, where Mukund Shah used to live just over the road from Kings Cross. We had a few meetings there and Shri Mataji told us about raising kundalini and this is one of the first experiences we had of actually hearing through Sahasrara. She told us all our Sahasraras were open and She said," Put your hands over your ears and cover them up completely and you'll still be able to hear Me."And we could. We had our hands over our ears and we could actually clearly hear what Shri Mataji was saying because we were hearing through our Sahasraras. Our Sahasraras had actually opened. So that was perhaps the first experience, apart from feeling the vibrations, that was one of the real amazing, first amazing experience we had.
Now we had a few meetings at this Judd Street, but then, because the fellow that took us there was going to leave, we had to find somewhere else and we started to meet in a house in North Gower Street. And when we met in North Gower Street, I think that's when it actually began to take root. Because there it had got a base for the Sahaja Yoga to actually put roots down. Then what would happen would be that Shri Mataji would come round and She would sit there and there'd be maybe half a dozen of us and Shri Mataji would talk to us and tell us all about Sahaja Yoga and the way She'd work on us would be that we would put our hands under Her Feet and She'd sort of do various bits and pieces to clear us out. Because there was so few of us, within a couple of days we'd be caught up again which was rather sad, but it just shows the sort of state we were in.
9) Pat Anslow said:
How could someone like this be here?
Actually, I'd seen Shri Mataji's photograph before I met Mother. I'd left that yoga group before you brought the photo. I'd moved over to Baker Street and I did notice the photograph appearing, being kind of furtively concealed from me and I did hear about Shri Mataji, but I didn't hear anything that direct about it. But then I just said that I'd like to come and see Her. I'd heard about these meetings and I came to the last meeting at Judd Street. One damp Sunday afternoon" " raining" " and I came with [my sister] Maureen [Rossi]. It had a huge impact on me because I'd heard that there was a yogi lady and I had this kind of idea that I'd walk into a room full of sort of silence and perhaps little bells tinkling somewhere and I walked in the room. And it was so unlike what I'd expected that the effect on me was really quite profound. I immediately felt that this is what it must have been like to come across Christ teaching in the marketplace. It completely hit me like that, which was quite strange because I didn't have any kind of religious" " you know, religion wasn't part of my life. Quite the opposite, I was coming from a hippie background. And I just felt that here was an amazing personality and my feeling was," How can a being like this exist? How could someone like that be here?"And the whole room seemed full of light and there was a tremendous impression of how powerful Shri Mataji was, but She was just very sweet. She asked us to come and see Her and I came up and She put Her hand on me and said," This one's sick," I think were the first words She said to me. And the meeting went on. It was just really amazing" " quite magical, the whole thing. I didn't really have a chance to figure out what it was all about, but I knew it was something quite momentous. That was the first meeting.
She said I was sick and that I needed something for my stomach and She asked for a bottle and the strange thing was" " no one else seemed to see this" " but I saw Her take the bottle, turn round and open a sort of door into some kind of an atomic furnace and put the bottle in, take it out, shut the door and give it to me. And I was quite astonished. And I took it home, drank it and it had the most extraordinary effect. It cleared me out. She said I had six months to live. Yes, I was really in quite a bad way.
We went back for more meetings and I had a whole series of extraordinary experiences when She was there, but I think the thing that really hit me was a kind of gut reaction, a kind of recognition that this was someone. I kept getting the feeling that this was someone like Christ. That was the feeling that I had. And I was trying to kind of see how that made sense and fitted in.
10) Maureen Rossi said:
I had no idea what I had but I knew I had it
It was the 16th September 1975 that we first met Shri Mataji in that [Judd Street] flat and, similar to [my brother] Pat [Anslow], it couldn't have helped being a most momentous feeling. Even walking up the street to go to that flat, I had this strongest urge to run away I've ever had in my life. Even though I didn't know where I was going and I had only been told that," This lady is a yoga teacher, but she doesn't teach Hatha Yoga."But I can remember thinking that if I wasn't with people that I felt would say," What on Earth are you up to?"I'd have run away. That's how strong I could feel the force I was walking towards.
And when we went in the flat and we were told to take off our shoes, which was strange, and told to sit down and I saw Shri Mataji working on this Indian gentleman, very strongly and sort of telling him off and sorting him out, I thought She was a Goddess. That was my first thought that came into my head and then I thought," What on Earth do I mean by that? I don't even know what a Goddess is."But that's what it felt like. And then She got on with seeing to everybody and when my turn came, if you like, She actually got up and walked around, as well as sat down, and She told me to put my hands out and asked me what I felt and that second I felt my attention drawn to my hands and said," Oh, I feel something."And She just said," May God bless you. You've got it."And I thought," I've got it."I had no idea what I had, but I knew I had it. And that was it. And She then went on to everybody else. It was just great. I was dealt with.
11) Kevin Anslow said:
It's great being a kid
I got my Realization when I was seven years old. I was born in '68 and got my Realization in '75. The first time I met Mother was quite a marked memory. My father, Pat [Anslow], used to bring me up to London at that time, sometimes for the weekend. I used to live with my grandparents until my father was remarried. He first met Shri Mataji about that time. So he brought me up and said I was going to meet this very special Indian lady. I had never actually met an Indian lady of any description before that point, which made it a little bit daunting actually, coming from a middle class commuter town just near Brighton. He took me up to London, and that was a special thing in itself, and we got there and Shri Mataji was very different from what I imagined because Indian ladies to me would have been a distant person in a sari. There was not a person behind that, more a sort of image.
And there was this quite remarkable lady who was very friendly. And instead of me being all sort of anxious and kind of not knowing what to do because it was a strange adult, it was really rather fun. People who remember seeing Mother with children" " I mean, She sort of comes alive and says," Really?"And that sort of tone that She takes. She really sort of gets their attention and makes them feel comfortable and sort of creates this instantaneous connection. So it was a bit like that.
She asked me questions and Her eyes kind of lit up and there was a huge smile and for some mysterious reason" " being an adult now, I can't remember the logic behind it, if there was any" " I decided I had to be an elephant. So I got these" " it was in this flat in Gower Street where this Sahaja Yogi at the time, he had this" " well, what I think of now as rather unpleasant seventies-style furniture, including these wickerwork drinks things. You kind of put your drinks inside. I turned these things upside down and stuck them on my feet and legs and kind of roared around the room and pretended to be an elephant.
When I did this Mother just pitched Her head back with laughter and laughed and laughed and laughed. And my father, I think, was horrified, sort of"Oh no, what's he doing."But She really took it on board and She really brought the situation alive and made it all rather fun. And there was no sort of anxiety or anything like that. I mean, it's great being a kid, I suppose. With Shri Mataji, you don't have to think," Do I have to be this or that?"You just sort of are, if you know what I mean.
12) Miodrag Radosavljevic said:
I realized this lady was something very high
My first reaction to Mother was that I felt that I had met this lady before. And I thought I had seen Her in Oxford Street [in London], in a shop somewhere. That was my first impression. And She just touched my hand and said," You will be all right. You are not all right now, but you will be all right."So I went home and had a shower. I was alone at that moment, in the house I was sharing with some people. All of a sudden, I went completely thoughtless. I wanted to think, but I couldn't. So I knew I had to lie down, so I lay on the bed and closed my eyes. I was aware of this energy rising up through my stomach and then all the way to my chest and then on to the top of my head like a sort of crown. And my body felt very light and I felt totally in the bliss. So I realized that this lady was something very high and I never experienced that before. So that was my first experience of Sahaja Yoga. It took a long time and is still taking a long time to correct all of my problems.
13) Pat Anslow said:
What on Earth can I do with them?
One thing we should perhaps say more about was just how amazing Mother was with us in our ignorance of any kind of protocol or anything. We had no idea how to behave with Her and we had no idea how to behave with each other, never mind with Shri Mataji. She was just so amazing. She just must have put Herself out so much, in so many ways. It was just incredible. We would argue about everything, every point. She would debate everything with us. We were obviously very impressed with Her and we could see that what Mother was saying was enlightening and amazing, but there was still lots of ideas we had which we didn't agree about and we would argue about all kinds of things.
Shri Mataji would resolve that by patiently going through every point and explain. Really, Mother put Herself into quite a rough kind of environment. Gavin and Jane [Brown] were sort of respectable, but the rest of us weren't. We all came from a hippie background.
14) Gregoire de Kalbermatten said:
I am back home
I remember entering in Her house in Oxted [in 1975]. I was in jeans and was wearing an old US Army jacket full of holes. I kissed Her hand and gave Her flowers. Interestingly, I remember bowing and looking at the ground, so spontaneously. She commanded immediate respect. But my heart felt such a relief almost immediately.
It is hard to say when exactly I started recognizing Mother, but clearly the heart was faster than the brain. It was greatly helped, no doubt, by the contagious feeling of lightness and joy, an enveloping feeling of affection and wellbeing that made you feel," I am back home! Home, sweet home!"
Gregoire de Kalbermatten
15) Pat Anslow said:
My first memory of Gregoire
My first memory of Gregoire [de Kalbermatten]" " he came over and he had met Mother and he was staying in the area and he had seen Her several times. He came to one of the meetings at Gavin and Jane's and on that particular day the whole place was full of people who used drugs. Mother was arguing with them and saying it was bad and they were saying," No it is absolutely not true. You can experience this. You can experience that."At one stage, I'll never forget it, Mother just sort of hugged Herself and seemed to be saying," What on Earth can I do with them?"She looked forlorn really and so unhappy. It just hit me then. I was looking at this scene and it was just like a mother with her children. It was the first time I really felt that She was like a mother. She had been saying," You must stop taking drugs."So I saw this and said," Okay, I'll do it."And immediately all these other people turned around and glared at me. It just really hit me. And Gregoire was on his knees saying," Mother, you must forgive them. They know not what they do" "" very dramatic, but very true. He understood what was going on.
16) Gregoire de Kalbermatten said:
Only meditation did help destroy the addictions
When Mother named me leader of the USA for a brief period, She told," You are quite qualified for this because you know hell best." It is true that before Sahaja I had experimented with many forms of adharma, but had also discovered their limitations. I mean, I felt like the Rolling Stones," I can't get no satisfaction."And I was tired to keep trying. So, for me, it was not at all a problem to change my lifestyle after meeting Mother. The way She presented it made full sense, while the moral teachers of my past could not explain why I should not do something I fancied doing. I had done it all and I knew it was dust.
On one hand I finally understood from Mother why virtue was good for me. But, all the same, I did not know how to purify my attention right away and only meditation did help destroy the addictions.
Gregoire de Kalbermatten
17) Kevin Anslow said:
She had to be very patient with them
I remember Her being quite stern with the early Sahaja Yogis at times. She could be incredibly humourous and very warm, but quite stern when She needed to be. She was very much a mother figure in every way in those days. The early Sahaja Yogis hadn't developed this basic discretion. Like one chap went off to try the vibrations of the graveyard. He came back and Mother had to work on him for hours on end."What did you do this for?"And he just couldn't explain it. Oh, things like an early Sahaja Yogi went off somewhere and She bought a necklace and Mother was saying," Well, you've got to try the vibrations of things."And She said," This thing, there's something not quite right."And She got her to get a bucket of water and stuck this necklace in the water and the water turned black, like this black cloud came out of it. And She said," Ah!"like She does and"See!"And they saw, but they didn't learn that quickly. She had to be very patient with them.
18) Maureen Rossi said:
A different universe altogether
Mother arranged this weekend at Her house at Hurst Green" " Icehouse Wood, Hurst Green in Sussex [near Oxsted]. We all went down there by train. It was extraordinary because it was this very strange collection of people in an extremely nice neighbourhood, extremely nice and" " Shri Mataji once described it" " not even a rat was allowed to enter in or would enter in because the houses there were so perfect. They never had visitors let alone about fifteen straggling, hippie-type people dressed in jeans and any old gear. There was a big drawing room downstairs with beautiful Indian rugs and things like that and then this room up the stairs that was on the mezzanine room" " very sunny and there were large statues of deities, a beautiful Shri Ganesha there.
19) Djamel Metouri said:
Being of a Muslim background i didn't react
Pat [Anslow] took me to somewhere upstairs on the first floor and showed me this big statue of Shri Ganesha. And he said," See this statue has such vibrations."And I said," Hang on."I didn't sort of react. Being from a Muslim background, being of a Muslim background, I thought," What is he talking about? What is he talking about?"So I tried just feeling the vibrations, while stepping back. And it did have vibrations. That is the wooden statue we had in Chelsham Road [ashram in London].
One of the things that struck me also in the house of Mother, was that it looked and felt as if every statue that She had in the house was vibrating with power. And everywhere you went, you felt a kind of silent, peaceful, but extremely powerful environment, which is very difficult to describe, except to say that you knew something very powerful was working very deep inside you and working it out. And yet, you were in the middle of this and you felt you were in a different universe altogether.
20) Maureen Rossi said:
That was the absolute minute attention She'd give us.
And Shri Mataji worked on us and talked to us and there was this incredible smell of Indian cooking for about three hours. We were all dying of hunger. They started cooking so early and then I started to be ill. I had to keep rushing off and being ill, but I felt brilliant. It was just a fantastic clearout and then everybody went down to this big drawing room and fell asleep on the floor" " and we've got pictures of these bodies all over this floor" " just everywhere.
Again, then we had another session with Shri Mataji working on us and I had to keep dashing in and out, but it was like being totally divorced from the actual bodily feeling. I felt fantastic. The house had almost like a balcony inside that ran round and went off all the rooms.
But because I'd been ill, Shri Mataji said," Maureen, you can come and sleep in My room."And when it came to bedtime, I tried to hide behind everybody because I was convinced that Shri Mataji disappeared when She went out of the room. She went up these stairs curved round the middle of the house and She went half up the stairs and spotted me and hauled me out from the crowd and I was so scared as to what was going to happen and anyway She had this enormous lovely bed. Being from a sort of hippie background, I hadn't come with nightclothes that were particularly smart or anything and She dressed me in petticoats and cardigans. And She worked on my back all night in Her sleep and I kept having to get up to be sick. And She snored and then She'd stop snoring and say," That's better now."And then She'd carry on putting Her hand on my back and various places and then She'd snore for a bit longer and then stop and say," How do you feel now?"And it just went on all night and in the morning I was allowed to have bananas and cardamom seeds. That was the absolute minute attention She'd give us.
It's just incredible to think of Her doing that for us and then She went to India for about six months and we used to meet together, a handful of us, to try to meditate, but we weren't very good at all. And Shri Mataji, before She went, had said," You can come to India next year when I go" " with Me and meet all the Sahaja Yogis there." So we started saving and when She came back we were in such a state She said," Forget it. You're not up to it."But then She again started meeting us each week, generally on a Sunday or Saturday, and She again had us to Her house.
21) Kevin Anslow said:
How am I going to visit you?
We went to Her house in Oxted, but I can remember patchy things because I was quite young at the time. One of them was that I used to love drawing maps" " I still do, actually" " and I do them for the sort of stories that I write now. But in those days I used to draw maps and I had no idea why. And I drew this map which had some islands. There was an island for me and an island for Shri Mataji. So She said," Well that's no good because how am I going to visit you?"And I said," Well, I can't take the train."So I said," Well, what about an underground train?"So Mother said," Okay, that's fine."So, with Her direction, we drew in this little sort of underground train track. That solved the problem.
22) Djamel Metouri said:
She gave us so much affection
Now we are talking about early days and for me early days was the spring and summer of 1977. What is special about the early days is that Shri Mataji had just a few Sahaja Yogis. She hadn't got many. She is trying to bring them up to the level where they can be strong enough so we can then expand our collectivity.
When I arrived, probably about six or seven people" " I was probably the eighth. Some of us in those days have left. I guess I remember how She worked on an Australian boy, Gus, for so many weeks. She took him home. She looked after him. She cured him. He was like an encyclopedia of drugs. He was really bad. He had so many problems and She worked on him day in and day out, every day. She never spared any effort. The most extraordinary thing is that She gave him all the love and, after three months, he just left. He left Sahaja Yoga. He could have, in fact, stayed and She never said. In fact, She said," Okay."When you look at it from our point of view, he wasted Mother's efforts. But She never actually talked about it that way. To Her, She just gave love and that love, there was no condition put on it.
The most extraordinary thing about Shri Mataji is Her capacity as a Mother to basically" " to nourish the Sahaja Yogis who came at that time. To nourish them with enough love so they stayed in Sahaja Yoga, so they felt" " maybe She gives us what we didn't have, so, as Sai Nath of Shirdi said," We may want what She wants to give us."And She worked tirelessly, taking us to Her home. She never hesitated to cook for us. Just think, the Adi Shakti in Her home, cooking for the few of us. There may have been seven, eight, nine, even ten Sahaja Yogis. She would, Herself, cook food for us because obviously She wanted to put those vibrations in our in Nabhis. She wanted to improve our Nabhis, which were in such a state anyway. And the way She actually received us in Her home, whether it be the house She had in Hurst Green or in the flat in Ashley Gardens, in those days, She always had" " She did everything. She gave us so much affection.
23) Miodrag Radosavljevic said:
Truly like a mother
Shri Mataji used to cook for us and vibrate lemons for us and She would work on us constantly and effortlessly and all the time. Every week She would come into the ashram and would work on our chakras and check our vibrations and see how we were doing. So She was really truly like a mother, taking care of us.
24) Ray Harris said:
She'd buy the jackets and the ties for us
Shri Mataji would actually go out to a shop. I know because She took me out and She took several other people out. She'd give them Sir CP's second-hand, old ties and Sir CP, Her husband, was very much the head of the IMO [International Maritime Organization], so totally opposite from us. He was one of the highest placed people in international society and we were dug up from a gutter somewhere, relatively speaking. I remember I got a tie. She'd always give ties to people at pujas. She'd give ties, jackets, clothes. She took me out and bought a jacket for me. She bought clothes for my sister. She must have spent well over a hundred pounds on clothes. That was down Brick Lane [in the East End of London].
25) Vicky Halperin said:
I didn't really understand what the protocol was
Incredibly cheap, She'd bought me a dress and I don't think anybody had bought me anything since I'd been a child and I was" " I didn't know how to take it. I didn't know if I was supposed to pay for it. I didn't really understand what the protocol was for that moment. I said I couldn't accept it. I wanted to pay and She let me. And then She got another one. So I got two.
26) Ray Harris said:
She would never take money
Yes, She would never take money. That was the difference. You'd hear of gurus and people they have. They're always taking money off them. You give them everything. I tried to pay Shri Mataji back for the clothes She bought my sister, Sharon [Vincent], and She just threw it away, said," Don't be silly. What are you doing? I don't want your money. Don't be silly."
27) Vicky Halperin said:
She said," You can't treat Me like the gurus."
When I bought Her a gift, She asked me if I was being patronizing. She didn't want gifts. She said," You can't treat Me like the gurus." It was inappropriate to buy individual gifts. I think at some point later we were told that collective gifts were appropriate and individual gifts were not appropriate. I mean, I think Mother went from my house and I had big tears in my eyes at the thought that I'd offended Her and I really didn't. I'd wanted to do the opposite.
28) Douglas Fry said:
We felt what Shri Mataji felt
We were painting various bits of the house [Hurst Green in Sussex in about 1974]. Now one particular experience that I remember was that Shri Mataji went out with Mr. Srivastava to go to a meeting, a reception of some sort. He was at that time the director-general of IMCO [International Maritime Consultative Organization] and She left us. We were just cleaning this wall and painting it. About half way through the night we suddenly got this terrific headache and it felt really strange, but we just carried on working. So it passed.
So when Shri Mataji came home and asked us how we were, I said," I got this really terrible headache halfway through. I didn't know what was happening."And She said," Oh, what happened was that we were at this reception and somebody, by mistake, gave me a glass of wine and I drank it."
So what happened was we felt the effects of the wine that Shri Mataji drank. Because it had an effect on the unconscious and we actually felt it from Her. So obviously, at that time, we were in such deep meditation that we actually felt what Shri Mataji felt through the collective unconscious. That was quite an amazing experience.
29) Pat Anslow said:
She tried all kinds of different things
One of the most memorable things for me took place at Oxted, at the house there. We spent actually quite a lot of time there and Mother, as we say, the attention. I mean, She used to cook for us. There were servants there who cooked, but sometimes She'd cook specially for us and She would work on us. It was so intensive. You'd bow down with your hands under Mother's Feet and the other Sahaja Yogis would be gathered around and it would literally sometimes go on for hours" " just to clear one person out. And they'd be down for that length of time with their head on Mother's Feet. She tried all kinds of different things, mostly just looking after us in beautiful ways.
I remember once She gave me a head massage with oil and we'd do odd jobs sometimes around the house. I remember once we were sandpapering something ready to paint and Mother came over and joined in, got a bit of sandpaper and sandpapered with us. And the meals used to be the most memorable, weren't they? We were really spoiled, spoiled rotten.
I remember one day I turned up at Her house and She said," You just go out. I clear you out and you just get caught up."And She made me lie down in front of Her and took Her shoe and actually shoe-bashed my spine" " very hard" " hard enough for me to see stars. And that worked. I felt very clear after that.
30) Kevin Anslow said:
She tried things out with people
She used to give me little presents sometimes. It's so fragmentary because it's a long, long time ago. I tend to find these memories sort of suddenly come to me, but then they vanish again. I remember in Gower Street Shri Mataji used to" " well, my father says it was somewhere else" " well, the older Sahaja Yogis at the time were a collection of ex-hippies and I was younger and clearer. They had had a bit of a wild time and it had sort of left its imprint on their chakras. Shri Mataji sometimes used to use me to sort of try things out or to clear things out. She discovered the neck crick on me. This is a form of treatment which no longer exists, I think because some of the people got rather damaged necks when they did it to each other. But Shri Mataji had me sitting down and said," I've discovered this great new treatment for the Vishuddhi."And She got my head and went"huwhump!"And it went"Click!"And I screamed and was in absolute outrage, but She found it very amusing.
There was this sense that Sahaja Yoga was sort of experimental. She tried things out with people. She would get them to do things and see if it worked or not. I mean, I think it sort of goes on, on a larger scale, as well today.
31) Douglas Fry said:
One is power and one is purity
Because I wasn't properly centred, I had a bit of an Agnya problem at that time. I used to see Shri Mataji flash from different colours. She used to go this beautiful rainbow green and this beautiful rainbow red and I'd just see this light sort of flashing from Her. But apparently the reason for that was because I had an Agnya problem. I mentioned this to Shri Mataji and She said," You shouldn't actually see that."She said," One is power and one is purity."I could actually see them, but She said," If you can actually see those colours, it means you are not actually in the centre. You are off to one side."
32) Kevin Anslow said:
I was seeing Mother as a child would
I was seeing Mother as a child would. I mean every time I saw Her, I would run up and hug Her. It is not something you get to do when you get older. There was a definite change of protocol there. And I do remember that as I got older, I was not quite aware of this protocol and not knowing what to make of it, particularly as the Sahaja Yogis were sort of intellectually engaging with it in some sort of sense. But I do remember that I could sort of run up and hug Mother. She was sort of like a big friend. It was very different. She was very accessible in those days to people and yet it didn't quite have the intensity that people have in encounters with Mother in more recent times or as time went on.
I remember my Aunt Maureen [Rossi] saying that She was very direct and sociable, especially with the ladies, in a way that She wasn't with the men. But, generally speaking, like in talks and things, you will notice that at a certain moment some aspect of Her will come out, something very serious and quite didactic and sometimes a great jocularity. She did have that, but it was very much more toned down in those days. I think people were perhaps not up to the scope of Her manifesting these things in their fuller sense.
33) Djamel Metouri said:
I am like the source
I also remember this meeting we had with Mother. She gave us this sort of meditation in Her lounge, you know, where we were seven or eight people. We were Maureen, Gus, from the early days, Pat, Douglas. At some stage Mother was trying to sort of teach us who She was, trying to tell us who She was. And then She said," The power of God actually just goes to the back of Me. I am like the source and it's just flowing behind Me."And that is when we started realizing that Mother was trying to tell us who She was. And then She was trying to work on our Mooladharas. And Gus was saying that he saw Mother as Shri Ganesha, He was quite struck by it and he was very surprised. He hadn't seen Mother in that aspect.
34) Gregoire de Kalbermatten said:
The shoes of the Adi Shakti
I believe I saw from the very first days the colossal meaning of what Shri Mataji was doing. I recognized She brings the total, the grand revolution, the most radical factor of global change for mankind. The French and Russian revolutions are nothing compared to this! On the other hand, I was looking around me. How on Earth and in the heavens are we going to get there? This was the problem and the tension within me. It was like being at the bottom of a huge rock and not knowing how to climb it.
I remember one day in August 1975, in the house of Shri Mataji in Hurst Green, there were about seven Sahaja Yogis around the table. Needless to say, in those days we were all new and there was nobody else. Shri Mataji started putting Her shoes on the table" " very nice and elegant ones, no doubts! But, of course, we did not know then that Mother was doing it because the vibrations from Her shoes are so powerful. So I was looking at a bunch of stunned people, sitting around a table looking at pairs of shoes on the table and thinking," Is it with this lot we are going to change the world?"My mistake was to focus on the people, not the shoes. I did not know what shoes can do if these are the shoes of the Adi Shakti. And if the world, indeed, will be transformed, let us handle these shoes with the feelings that Bharat had in handling the shoes of his brother, Shri Rama.
Gregoire de Kalbermatten
Memories of our Divine Mother Shri Mataji 1
Memories of our Divine Mother Shri Mataji 2
Memories of our Divine Mother Shri Mataji 3
Memories of our Divine Mother Shri Mataji 4
Memories of our Divine Mother Shri Mataji 5
Memories of our Divine Mother Shri Mataji 6
Memories of our Divine Mother Shri Mataji 7
Memories of our Divine Mother Shri Mataji 8
Memories of our Divine Mother Shri Mataji 9
Memories of our Divine Mother Shri Mataji 10
Memories of our Divine Mother Shri Mataji 11
Memories of our Divine Mother Shri Mataji 12
Memories of our Divine Mother Shri Mataji 13
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