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Memories of our Divine Mother: 14. AROUND THE WORLD 1) Chris Kyriacou said: With one glance This is the story of the series of coincidences, which lead, through the grace of Shri Mataji, to my receiving Self Realization. I was never what is termed a seeker. To my knowledge, I never went out of my way to look for that "something extra" to give my life meaning. I led a fairly normal life by Western standards. I enjoyed recreational activities and drugs. I was cruising through life and not much concerned about anything other than my own happiness. My brother, [Kerry Kyriacou], on the other hand, was a different story. Ever since I could remember he was always looking for something, although he couldn't tell us why or what it was. He said he would tell us once he found it. He went along to all sorts of groups, to the consternation of our family who viewed him as a bit strange. They implored him to be a good Greek boy like the rest of us. If he wanted to "get religious," why couldn't he explore our own religion and culture, which, if it had served our forefathers well, would be good enough for us too. He was always coming home with news of some great teacher or yoga technique that would lead him somewhere. After a few years, I ceased to care what he was up to and just left him to it and asked that he not bother me any more. It was all too much. One memorable day, I was seated in front of the television watching a football game, can of lager in hand, when my brother came home with an excited look on his face. In fact, there was something more, there was something very open in his face, something which I had not seen for a very long time and which startled me enough to shake me out of my beery reverie for a moment. He said the most incredible thing had happened to him. Further inquiry revealed that he had just met an Indian lady, Her name was Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi and he had received his Self Realization. He tried to explain further what this was, but I did not understand a word of what he said. He told me he had spent the day with Her and a group of people and that he had had the opportunity to wash Her Feet. And he had felt an incredible cool wind coming from Her body, especially when he was washing Her Feet. "So you met an Indian lady," I said, "you washed her feet and you felt this cool wind." "Yes," he replied. "That's what happened." I voiced my opinion that he had finally gone crazy, but he insisted that this was the thing he had been looking for all his life. I said if this made him happy, then all well and good, but would he kindly leave me out of it. This he did not do and for the next two years he kept asking me to come and get my Self Realization. I kept answering that I was not interested and would he leave me alone. I had no wish to change and to give up the pleasures of life. I consoled him by saying perhaps I would come along when I would be old and have enjoyed myself enough. He was very persistent and kept asking me to come to Sahaja Yoga. One fateful day he came home and said that Shri Mataji was in Sydney that night and would I like to come and see Her. My answer was the same as before. He relented, but asked if I could at least drive him to the venue, as it was raining heavily. My lips were forming the word "no." Then, inexplicably, I said, "Yes." So we both got into the car and made our way through the storm to the program, which was taking place in a busy part of the city. He asked me if I could drop him off outside, as I would probably be unable to park. The rain continued unrelenting, as we made our way into town to the venue. I had planned to drive past the hall and drop him off, but just as we drove past the entrance a car pulled out from the curb, leaving a parking spot right outside. Without thinking I drove into the car park, then I became annoyed with myself, as I had no intention of remaining there. My brother merely commented how lucky we were to get such a spot and then asked if I could wait around so that we could go home together afterwards, as the rain showed no sign of abating. After a little argument, I finally agreed, but told him that if it was too long, I would leave with or without him. I was beginning to get angry with myself, as I felt I was being manipulated into being somewhere I did not want to be and doing something I had no wish to do. So we both made our way into the hall and took our seats. As we were awaiting the arrival of Shri Mataji, I kept thinking of all the things I would rather be doing than sitting there. I sank into my chair, arms folded across my chest, angry and resentful. After some time, someone announced that we should all stand as Shri Mataji had arrived. All around me people started to stand up, turning their heads to catch a glimpse of Shri Mataji. But I decided that I would not stand up, as I had no wish to be there in the first place. So I stayed in my seat, arms folded, staring down at the floor. I felt an inclination to rise to my feet like everyone else, but I resisted, thinking that "This is not for me. I'm just a spectator." At this moment time seemed to slow down, as if a great many things were about to happen in a very short time. Somehow I could sense Shri Mataji slowly making Her way down the aisle and I could feel a silence and a power I could not describe. With every moment I could sense it drawing nearer and I felt a need to stand with everyone else, but I resisted and remained in my seat. I could feel something building up inside, which became too much and I could no longer resist. I turned my head to look and just at that moment Shri Mataji was walking down the aisle. She paused for a moment, turned Her head in my direction and looked at me for an instant with a powerful stare, which was in that same moment a beaming smile. She paused and our eyes met and suddenly I felt as though I had been living inside a suffocating cloth bag, which had covered my whole body and that it had surrounded me all my life. As She looked at me, it felt as if someone had grabbed the top of this bag and pulled it from me. I jumped up from my seat in amazement, as if I was seeing and breathing in a new way. It seemed as if a mist or cloud had been blown from my mind and I was only now thinking clearly. Shri Mataji smiled again and continued to the dais to begin Her discourse. I was still looking around dumbfounded, trying to make sense of what had just happened. My anger had disappeared and I couldn't think, I just felt alive and fresh. Much of Her talk was foreign to me, but even though I did not understand Her words, I somehow felt that She spoke the truth and that I could trust Her. After granting Realization, Shri Mataji left. I somehow wanted to talk to Her to ask what had happened, but the opportunity did not arise. My brother came and put his hand above my head and congratulated me for getting my Self Realization. I still was not sure what he meant, but when I placed my hand above my head, sure enough, I could feel a cool breeze. The journey home was quite different to our previous drive. Both of us were very excited, like little boys again. After a few days, I no longer felt the breeze and it was to be some time before I felt it again. During that time doubts would enter my mind and I wasn't sure if I was a seeker or not. But I couldn't forget how with one glance Shri Mataji had changed my life and I clung on to this experience throughout the difficult time, waiting for the chance to see Her again. Chris Kyriacou 2) Kay McHugh said: She's so gracious She came to Cairns [Australia], where we lived, twice. And the first time She came to Cairns, I'd only moved up there in the December. We're in 1990. And people said, "Why are you moving to Cairns?" I said, "Don't worry. Shri Mataji will come." And I thought I didn't know where that came from. But, sure enough, the leader asked if She'd come to Cairns and She said, "Yes." So were gobsmacked actually because there were only four of us and a few people who had just — just come into Sahaj. And She came in the March, early March, and so we'd only been there a couple of months and the other couple that were there had only just finished building a house or actually it wasn't finished. And the phone wasn't even on and we'd just moved in the day before because the floors were still cement and we managed to put carpet in Mother's bedroom and we painted up to where Mother would see. And She was coming early, but they couldn't phone us and tell us because we were in between two houses and the phone was off at both houses. The actual telephone people were at the house putting the phone on because Mother was coming. And so somebody drove twenty minutes down the mountains to us to tell us that Mother was coming early. We go, "Oh, my God, She's coming early!" — and literally pushing the painters and the plasters and everybody out as we were going to the airport to go and greet Her. [While we were at the public program,] we had the baby-sitter, who was non-Sahaja Yogi, set up a meal that I understand that Mother'd like, probably marinated chicken thighs in yoghurt. It was already marinated and I said to her, "Put it in the oven." So here's the non- Sahaja Yogi cooking for Mother. "Put it in the oven at about half past nine because, by the time Mother comes back from the program, it'll be just finished." Of course, the program — She was so gracious — the program we had music and She stayed and met people. Of course, we didn't get home until really, really late and the baby-sitter had just left this cooking in the oven for ever such a long time. So, by the time we got to present it to Mother, it was kind of unrecognizable. All the meat had fallen off the bone and we gave it to Her and She looked at it and said, "Well, what is this?" But She ate it and seemed to enjoy it very much. And I said, "Oh, you know, it's marinated in yoghurt. And it's chicken, Mother." "Oh." But She ate it. And because we were so busy and there were only four of us — we were doing programs and cooking and doing different things — She ate every meal and then was so complimentary about it. And then She was suppose to leave on the second day in the morning, but She decided to stay and get a later flight and go out to the [Great Barrier] reef. And She went to the reef. We got a jet-boat out to Green Island, which is just a little island just off the coast and then She went on one of these semi-submersibles and put Her attention on the reef. Of course, I had been explaining to Her how this crown of thorn starfish — which I found very hard to keep saying, "crown of thorns," because it felt horrible to say it to Her, but that's what it's called — was destroying the reef. It was sort of out of disproportionate numbers and it was eating the reef away. And She said at that point She put Her attention on it and they just disappeared. So a day later, after She'd left, there was an article in the paper saying they just didn't know where these crown of thorns starfish had gone to, but they just disappeared. And, of course, that meant an extra meal because we weren't expecting Her for lunch, so we did have some chicken in the fridge, but it wasn't very nice. It had gone off. So I said, "Oh, my goodness. Well, quickly." When we came back, I said, "Quickly go to the corner shop and get a barbequed chicken." We presented Mother with this barbequed chicken from the corner shop and She said, "Mmmm. Is this delicious?" She said, "Is it Peking duck?" You know, She is so nice. "Oh, Mother, Mother, it's not. It's a barbequed chicken from the corner shop." "Oh," She said, "I thought it was Peking duck." Of course, it was all crispy on the outside and soft white meat in the middle. And it was so funny that She was so nice about these meals, which were abysmal, as they'd been in those early days. And when She was in Canberra and they had such a setup in the kitchen, of this lady doing the parsley and this lady doing this and this lady doing that, She sent just about every meal back to he kitchen. I'm sure it was just the vibrations and there was just so much right side and it was so organized. I'm sure it was just the vibrations of the meal. And I was just absolutely amazed that She'd eaten with relish all this strange food we'd presented to Her, which was cooked in a very quick manner and then seemed to be so sort of finicky about the food that was given to Her in Canberra. But She's so gracious. Kay McHugh 3) Cheryl Bradshaw said: Every time I leave my children I remember when Shri Mother was leaving Melbourne [in 1990]. I burst out crying and ended up sobbing on Her shoulder. She had Her arms around me and I apologized profusely for breaking down like this. She told me that it was all right and said, "Now you know how I feel as a Mother every time I leave my children. Then the joy comes back as I greet the others waiting for Me." Cheryl Bradshaw 4) Kay McHugh said: A moment that had to be taken A [reporter from the] local paper from the northern beaches, where we lived [in Cairns Australia], he came to interview Mother. And he'd been sitting waiting while She was being interviewed by TV people. And while he was waiting, he was just amazed at the amount of flowers in the house and all the comings and goings. And he said, "All these flowers are wonderful. Could we get a bit of local colour and get Shri Mataji to go and sit on the beach, so I can get a picture on our local beach, you know?" And I asked Her and She said, "Yes, yes, we'll go down to the beach." So we went down to the beach and he arranged — he said, "Can we bring these flowers with them?" So he arranged the flowers around. So there's a lovely picture of Shri Mataji sitting, sitting sideways on the sand with all these vases of flowers around Her with the local background. And She walked along the beach and the videoman came just at the same time so that that video of Her walking on the beach [was shot]. And She talked about how beautiful the area was and how lovely it was for meditation to be able to be in such a beautiful area. She said that She'd like this video sent to Russia because She said the Russians had a desire to see Her in the water. And that's when She was walking on the beach and She started to walk down towards the water and the vibrations were tremendous. And I called out to Sno [Bonneau], who had a camera and said, "Quick, quick, come with your camera" because he was a little bit further down the beach. And because I thought She was going to walk on the water. She was walking with such purpose and the vibrations were so strong that it looked like She was just going to take off on top of the water. But then She just got to the water's edge and seemed to have Her attention away out to sea. Whether this was the moment where She was working out this business with the starfish on the reef, I don't know. And then She turned and She smiled and you've seen those photos. But it was just — I've got a three-quarter image of Her facing the water with Her back to us because Sno had come running up the beach and was taking pictures because I just thought it was a moment, like it was a moment that had to be taken. So that turned out to be a very popular series of photographs. Kay McHugh 5) Mark Williams said: A blue hand came out I was giving an English boy some vibrations and he wouldn't clear out. And it was driving me really crazy because I thought there must be some problem with me and that was why he wasn't clearing out. And I kept giving, giving, giving and nothing was happening. So in the end, in frustration I just put my hand on his heart and I just prayed to Lord Shiva. I don't know why Lord Shiva, but I just said, "Please, Lord Shiva, he's my brother and I love him and he's not clearing out. There must be some false guru or negativity" because it felt like Void and left Swadisthan and all that. I had my eyes closed and suddenly this blue hand came out and the English boy went completely cool. And he said, "What did you do?" And I said, "I don't know. Suddenly this blue hand just came out." And he suddenly felt really clear and we felt so joyful and it was such a nice experience. And I told Shri Mataji about this and She said, "You know, there's a picture of Me where I'm all blue. You know that?" Mark Williams 6) Kay McHugh said: Another graciousness It was very magical times [when Shri Mataji came to Cairns Australia in 1991], again because we were such a small collective and had such proximity to Her. She was so gracious. She sat and talked to us about cricket and different things and sat in the garden, allowed all these media people to come and speak to Her and take Her time. She was very tired when She came to Cairns because She'd came from Perth, I think to Adelaide, then to Melbourne where She'd been sorting out some problems with Melbourne collective and She was quite tired when She came to Cairns, but She said She left refreshed, which we found was another graciousness. Kay McHugh 7) Claire Nesdale said: The heavens exploded At the puja [in Australia in 1992] we didn't have the right kajal for Shri Mataji. Before the kajal, they had to put the bangles on Shri Mataji's hands. And the women who were doing it couldn't because the size that we had got was far too small for Shri Mataji's hands. And they tried to put them on and then Shri Mataji said, "Here give them to Me." And She did the same thing for each hand. She put the bangles on the first parts of her fingers. She covered Her hands with Her sari and then She took the sari back off Her hand, and so it had not touched the bangles at all, and now they were on Her wrists. And She did it to each hand in turn and the people watching just couldn't believe it because She hadn't actually tried to force them on. And they couldn't put them on, but after She lifted Her sari back, the bangles were on. And then the next thing that happened was that Shri Mataji wanted the plain kajal and we had the kajal with camphor in it. And we didn't have any plain kajal. Somehow it had escaped. So She put on the kajal that had the camphor in it and soon tear drops formed in each eye and started to fall down Her face. And at that point, the heavens exploded and rain just pelted down and just flooded. And we hadn't quite finished the walls of the ashram at the point when we were having the puja and rain was coming in and coming right across the floor. And, because She had the sari round Her, She couldn't see us, though I am sure She was aware of what was happening, people having to move to higher ground. And when the sari was taken down we were all in different places. But this happened simultaneously with the camphor kajal going on Her eyes and the tears forming in Her eyes and the clouds just letting go. People said that and the bangles were the most incredible miracles. She must have taken them off Herself later because there was no way you could have taken them off. Claire Nesdale 8) Lyn Vasudeva said: Seemed like a miracle There was a public program in Adelaide at which Shri Mataji was addressing a smallish audience of about three hundred people and a group of lesbian bikies came and sat in the front to disturb and heckle. We were hardly half a dozen Sahaja Yogis and the men had been told to ask the bikies to leave, as no one could hear Shri Mataji. They were nervous about asking them to leave in case they started fighting with them, so they asked us girls to ask them to leave. I kept looking around for someone else to go and ask them to leave, as their shouting was getting louder and I had a baby in my lap. Finally, I stood up and requested in a loud voice that if there were any ladies in the audience who would like the trouble-makers to leave, could they please accompany me to the front. Somehow, with baby under one arm and all the ladies in the auditorium following behind me, I ended up in front of a huge, leather-clad, shouting female person. On requesting her to kindly leave, she replied, "Try and make me!" With Shri Mataji watching on with amused smile, I reached out my one free arm and picked her up by the collar and dumped her in the aisle, whereupon she grabbed her helmet and her girlfriends and ran out of the auditorium. Seemed like a miracle and the program continued without further interruption. Lyn Vasudeva 9) Claire Nesdale said: The Sahaja Yogis talked about it for years In 1992 we had built a hangar at Gidgegannup ashram [in Australia], but the centre of the roof hadn't been put in. And Shri Mataji had started a puja talk and about ten minutes into the talk, big rain clouds came over and rain started to pour down. Everybody was panicking because it was wetting their puja saris. And nobody was moving because it would be impolite to move and Shri Mataji looked up and saw what was happening and cut through the air with Her hand, a cut downwards with Her hand, and immediately the rain stopped. It seemed to stop in mid-air and just didn't come down any more. And everybody looked to see what had happened to it because nobody could quite work it out. And at the very same time, a wind blew up and the wind blew the clouds away within minutes. The big rain clouds had gone and there were just soft fluffy white clouds in their place and after a little bit, fine patches came in the sky. The Sahaja Yogis talked about it for years afterwards. New people, who had only been in Sahaja Yoga a year or so, couldn't believe what had happened because one minute you were being drenched with these heavy drops of rain and the next minute it was just cut in mid-air. Claire Nesdale 10) Kay McHugh said: It's a myth We were in Singapore and I was with Her alone in Bala's mother's house and I was flapping around worrying about packing the bags and getting Her breakfast and doing my usual left Nabhi panicky thing and She said, "Come here." And She put Her Agnya finger and twisted it on my Agnya and said, "It's a myth, you know. It's a myth looking after Me. You're not really looking after Me at all." Kay McHugh 11) Mark Williams said: Shri Mataji is there and this earthquake is happening This presidential suite of this hotel, like right up on the top of this giant big skyscraper in Taiwan, there were about twenty yogis in the room and everyone was watching television and then we all left the room for some reason and we were all in another little room that connected with Shri Mataji's room. And then suddenly this earthquake started. And I looked down and the carpet was rippling like this and all the chandeliers were smashing and everything was falling off. All the shelves and the paintings were bashing against the walls. And it was a very big earthquake. And they were all very new yogis in Taiwan and they all started screaming and ran out of the room. And I looked and Shri Mataji was just sitting there. And everyone left and I was the only person left in the room. And I was feeling so good because I was with Her and I was inside and just enjoying the whole thing like, "Wow! I'm here, Shri Mataji is there and this big earthquake is happening. What an experience!" And She was a little bit annoyed I think because all the yogis had left and also the thing was happening. And then they all came in again once it stopped and they obviously felt that what they had done maybe wasn't quite right, just to leave Shri Mataji there, so they came back in and they were again standing. And then suddenly it started again. And then one yogi had the foresight to say, "What shall we do, Mother?" And Mother said, "Let's get out of here." And they all ran out of the room again, leaving Shri Mataji there again. And then when it stopped they all came back in and everyone was a little sheepish still. And everyone sat down and then someone said, "Why did this happen?" And She said it was all the spirits of the dead ancestors that wanted their moksha, Self Realization. And She said it's no go. And they did that. They created that event, so that She would give them the moksha. And She said no way. Like they have to do it the hard way. They have to come in and get their Realization. They have to do all that. Mark Williams 12) Kay McHugh said: The shawl-bearer to the Goddess [After the 1981 program in Hong Kong] we went back to the hotel in the hotel car and I got out, said my pranams, goodnight to Mother, bowed down. She said, "No, no, no, you must come. You must come." So I was just in my dress and my handbag. And I said, "But I haven't got anything to wear, Mother." She said, "No, you must stay with Me. Stay with Me." She said, "You can wear one of My petticoats. Come along." And I thought, "Oh, my goodness me." So I ran back to the car and grabbed my handbag and then proceeded upstairs with Mother, thinking, "Oh dear, what do I do now? You know, how do I stay in the same room with Shri Mataji and sleep with Her?" So we went upstairs and into the hotel room and talked about this and that and then Shri Mataji eventually got into bed and was reading the hotel magazine and said, "Come along, come along now." And I didn't know quite what to do. Oh, She got me the petticoat and said, "Here you are. Put My petticoat on." So I took my dress off and I think I had a jumper. So I was wearing a jumper and one of Shri Mataji's petticoats. And I was feeling very self-conscious. And She was in bed and I thought, "I don't know what to do. Where do you sleep? Do you sleep?" I had no idea of protocol of what to do. And She said, "Come along" and patted the bed next to Her. "Come along. Get in." I thought, "Oh dear" because I'd heard stories about how people had got into Mother's bed after She's left and the deities had actually thrown them out because it wasn't protocol and I thought, "Oh dear." So I bowed down on the ground to Her and prayed to the deities, "Please down throw me out of bed." And when I looked up, She was looking over Her glasses and over Her magazine. She looked at me and said, "How sweet." And then I proceeded to get into bed with Her, but I was determined I wasn't going to go to sleep in case I did something unprotocolish in my sleep and rolled over and touched Her or something. And then the light went out and She started talking to me in the dark about — asking me about my family and starting getting me to put my hand on different chakras. And She was clearing, clearing me out in the night. And I spent the night. We got up in the morning and ordered breakfast and She went in the bathroom and took the paper with Her and said that's the only place you should really read the newspaper and came out and said, "I've vibrated the taps." She said, "I thought I might as well while I was in there." So all the taps were vibrated. And then the breakfast came. And then we were going out. And I think it was Diwali. It was a Diwali day. And it was also my birthday. And She looked out and She said, "Will I need my shawl?" And I said — of course, the hotel room was air conditioned — and I said, "I don't know, Mother, but perhaps because it's looking cloudy, perhaps You may." And She looked out and to the distance and gave bandhan to the clouds. She said, "There, now I've cleared it up a little bit. But," She said, "I'll take it. Here, you carry it." And I remember saying to Her, "What a great day to carry Your shawl, Mother, because it's Shalivana new year day." I didn't say that, but She slapped me on the back and said, "You got it." Because shalivana means the shawl-bearer to the Goddess. So I felt very privileged on my birthday to be the shawl-bearer of the Goddess on Shalivana new year day. And we went shopping and we had lunch somewhere and She clinked my glass with Hers and said, "Happy birthday" to me over lunch. So it's my best birthday. And walking down the street with Her in Hong Kong was incredible because Hong Kong is so crowded, so it is so — you can't walk abreast. And I was walking behind Her and watching all the people's faces as they were looking at Her and seeing the amazed look on their faces and seeing — not actually seeing it, but virtually seeing — their kundalinis come up as they focused on Her face of this amazing Indian woman walking like an elephant through this crowd of Chinese, down on the crowded streets of Hong Kong. And this is where we went into this Chinese emporium and saw all these lovely Quan Yins and She bought all these lovely teacups and sets and different teasets for Her daughters and make-up and shopping lists of this and that we were buying and toys for presents and different things and, in the end, said, you know, "How much do I owe them?" I thought, "How am I going to work out how much all this is?" And the Chinese man had added it all up and She said, "No, no." She knew exactly how much it was all going to be. And that was the time She said, "Oh, I need some money, some Hong Kong money." And I leant it to Her. She said, "Now you must remember to tell Me to pay you back when we get to London because," She said, "I can't owe people money in this lifetime, otherwise I'll have to come back and pay you back in another lifetime." And I said, "That's all right with me then, Mother." And She laughed. I hope She didn't pay me back. And then She said, "But do you know — " and She laughed then, but She said, "But do you realize how difficult it is for Me to incarnate?" Kay McHugh 13) Ruth Flint said: Shri Mataji raising my kundalini to give me strength Gregoire was doing the introduction at a public program in Rome in November 1981. We had been shopping with Shri Mataji and She went directly from the shopping to the program. Gregoire must have left in the middle of the shopping to go and do the introduction. So I drove Shri Mataji to the program and,before going on stage, She wanted to refresh Herself at that time. Nothing special was prepared for Her. I was also happy to go and wash my hands. So we went to the ladies' room. She said, "Oh, poor Ruth, you're catching on centre Heart. You've been running too much. I made you run too much." And there, in this public toilet with ladies coming and going, She started raising my kundalini and working on me and then She went on stage, started speaking and I was translating Her into Italian. Because at that time we were so few, we were doing all different roles and going from one thing to another. This was so amazing, Shri Mataji raising my kundalini in the toilet to give me the strength again to be in shape to translate Her. Ruth Flint 14) Guillemette Metouri said: Our inner secret garden Shri Mataji was planning Her tour in Europe. It was in February `82 and we were gathered around Her one evening in the London ashram in Chelsham Road. Several yogis from Switzerland were there too. Apart from weekly lectures in London, Shri Mataji was only lecturing in Paris and Geneva once a year in those years. Austria had just started, as well as Italy. In October `81, She had given Her first program in Rome. I was too shy and impressed by Her to take the liberty to talk to Her. While planning that evening in the ashram, She was asking for yogis' help to go and get programs organized in Birmingham, Bristol, Brighton and also to Paris and Geneva. Sitting at the back of the room, I was waiting for Italy's turn to come. A Swiss young woman suggested to go to Rome, as Ruth [Flint] needed help, but Shri Mataji declared firmly that nobody would go. "Rome needs no help! Ruth will manage very well on her own." I was quite disappointed by this answer, but I consoled myself saying that this was not the right time and that I should get over my attachment towards Italy. Yet, a few days later, the yogi in charge of London told me Ruth had phoned him asking me and Adriana to come and help. We were rather embarrassed, for Shri Mataji had given different orders. By going to Rome, weren't we disturbing Her plans? Wasn't it showing off mere impudence, proposing our services when She had declared Ruth would manage very well? As I discovered more and more, Shri Mataji was respecting my daily choices. In the same way, I intended to respect Hers. However, Ruth had insisted for us to come. What to do then? The wisest solution seemed to be to inform Shri Mataji directly about Ruth's request and ask Her opinion, but we were too shy and also too impressed by Shri Mataji's majestic force to take the liberty to talk to Her. So far, I had always communicated with Her through Her abstract form and I had never been near Her chatting and discussing like several other yogis. The date of our departure to Rome was close now, as we had purchased our plane tickets because something stronger than our hesitations had pushed us forward and compelled us to leave. Needless to say, though we were very worried to go against Shri Mataji's decision, we were just as disturbed to impose our presence to a feast we had not been invited to. This was most unmannerly. We felt very bad, but what to do? Two days before our departure, Shri Mataji came to Chelsham Road ashram to perform Rama Puja. The meditation room was packed with yogis coming from all over England. One chance was then left to us to challenge our shyness and tell Shri Mataji about our arrangement, but Adriana and I discovered bitterly we would never have the courage to do so. Thus, we were sitting there, stirring strange feelings within. That evening, Shri Mataji told us about the pitiless story of Shri Sita and Rama. That famous king had to repudiate his young beloved queen on the basis of rumours spreading doubts about Sita's chastity. In fact, Shri Rama had just delivered his young queen from Ravana's grips, who had captured Her in his kingdom of Shri Lanka with the intention to marry Her. Thus, Sita and Rama sacrificed their personal interests for the benevolence of their people. Shri Mataji extended at large on the qualities of Shri Sita and Rama, as being the perfect models of rulers. Then, suddenly in the middle of Her talk, She changed the subject. "So, who is going to Rome then?" Adriana and I looked at each other, taken aback, with eyes wide open, blushing violently. We raised slowly our hands. Shri Mataji was looking straight in front of Her and could not see us, as we were seated on the complete right side of the room, near the wall. As soon as our hands were fully raised — She did not see them — Shri Mataji turned Her head in our direction without any hesitation whatsoever and our fiery cheeks suddenly faced Her dazzling smile, full of light. An infinite benevolence was coming straight on us, penetrating each cell of our being with full motherly sweetness. Her face was the one of the moon at midnight, enlightening the Earth plunged in darkness. Carrying on pouring the rays of Her marvellous smile right at the bottom of our hearts, Shri Mataji bowed gently to us, by which we could perceive the sign of Her deepest respect towards us. It was like a kind of reverence to the most beautiful, noblest and purest part of our being, which probably was our Spirit. She was bowing to us, as if we were queens. God! This was too much for the simple girls. We were belonging to working class fathers. We were used to walking unknown amongst men and women everyday, all of them unable to identify within us the sparks of our inner secret garden. But here tonight, someone could see them shining and, better still, reproducing them to the infinite until we felt light, light and suddenly drowned in an unspeakable bliss. "Good, very good!" She said still smiling. Ruth has got a very nice flat. You will see. You will feel very well there." And She went back to Her talk, there where She had left it. It seemed now She had completely forgotten our very existence and had never opened that fairy parenthesis. Yet, the dream had come true. She had spoken to me for the first time in Her physical form. Guillemette Metouri 15) Ruth Flint said: Our daily life was completely integrated This was in spring 1982, in Rome. Gregoire had left Rome to go to Austria in January or February. I was a yogini of not even one year and Shri Mataji all of a sudden said She would come to Rome to give programs again. That meant that this time She would stay in my flat. She decided She would have three or four programs and She was coming for six days. I had no experience of being with Shri Mataji, beside what I had seen of Shri Mataji during that less than one year. I had no experience of Her staying in my home and I had never been on the frontline to take care of Her, Her meals, Her well-being. So Guillemette [Metouri] came to Rome to help, She was talking Italian perfectly. There was also Alan Henderson and a little group of fresh yogis of Italy who got their Realization when Shri Mataji came in November, so they were less than six months old yogis. And that was it. There was no Alga and no big leader. Maybe there were one or two Swiss yogis, but I'm not sure that it was on that occasion. Guillemette had no experience of being close to Mother and looking after Mother either and there we were. Guillemette was in charge of the kitchen and that meant cooking for Shri Mataji and for ourselves and we would cook the same for Shri Mataji as for ourselves. And she was also in charge of translating Shri Mataji, of making the introduction of these four programs and I had to overlook the whole. Mother would sit at the table in the dining room, take Her meals with us, we would all be sitting and eating on the floor around Her. Mother would talk to us and Guillemette would translate, after having cooked for all of us, with some help of course, but Guillemette would translate Mother. There was one bathroom, so it was the same for Mother and for us about ten or fifteen yogis sleeping in my flat. We would have to get ready in the morning and then clean up the bathroom. And while She was in the bathroom, we would quickly clean up Her bedroom, so it would be clean when She would come back. And needless to say, it was the same kitchen we were using for Shri Mataji and ourselves and the same tableware. Maybe I had a special pillow, but I am not sure. And at that time, I did not even have special sheets for Her. It must have been very hard for Her to take in all those vibrations of a new yogini. She would go shopping and we would be a whole team going out shopping with Her, while Guillemette would stay and cook with a little team. She would stop in an ice cream parlour and we would have an ice cream around Shri Mataji and accompany Her here or there. She wanted to look at marble, at woodsticks for frames. She was building Brompton Square and She would look for things for Brompton Square. One morning, Antonio Saracino played piano for Mother. This piano was not in the lounge where Shri Mataji would stay with us, but in a room which was the working room, where we slept, where we would iron the towels and napkins for Shri Mataji and so on. Maybe She said She wanted to listen to Antonio playing or something like that and She came into this room so quickly. We arranged a little cushion under Her Feet and She sat there. And while She was sitting there, Guillemette was ironing, Antonio was playing the piano and I was, I don't know, fiddling around and folding what Guillemette had ironed or whatever. And it was just such a feeling of family life of the children with their Mother and where our daily life was completely integrated with Shri Mataji. Ruth Flint 16) Derek Ferguson said: Shri Mataji wanted an inventory In Shri Mataji's house at Cabella there was a stage when She decided one day that She wanted to see all the paintings which had been presented to Her. So She asked somebody to go and find out and, when they went to have a look, they discovered that they were all over the place, different places they were stored. So Shri Mataji wanted an inventory. So what we did was run up into the attic, took the paintings out, showed them to Shri Mataji and then She would comment on them. I remember one time, there was a really nice one and it had the shape of Africa and it was a mother and child. They drew it like that. Shri Mataji was saying, "Ah, Africa, the mother." It was really nice. And there was a Sahaj Yogi who'd done a painting and he hadn't presented it to Shri Mataji. I remember seeing him and saying, "Ah, Shri Mataji's looking at paintings. This may be your opportunity." So he quickly brought his painting out and managed to present it to Shri Mataji and She made a comment that it was nice. One thing I noticed that She was talking about — there were some ones done by the Russians and She was saying how different they were and very professional. She was talking about Sahaj Yogis and She'd say how professional they were. She wanted to send the Russians the paintings to be repaired, the ones which were damaged, because they were very good repairers. They could repair them. So over a period of time, Shri Mataji would sit in a chair — it must have happened over nearly a week. They took the photographs to Shri Mataji. Then we had to wrap some of the ones that were proper, wrap them up and number them and then itemize them, then there were several numbers on them, then put them back. So it was amazing how everything was done systematically, no confusion, all there. Then everyone keeps saying, "What happens to all these presents?" And quite a few times Shri Mataji would send the things to India or give them back to different people and every now and again people would have to suddenly go out and buy suitcases and load up with all manner of things to be taken to various places. Derek Ferguson 17) Kay McHugh said: He knows who I am I remember when we went to Spain for the first time [in 1982]. We prepared the room for Her and I always remember that we had a candle next to Her bed and She smiled and laughed at us and said, "I don't need a candle in My room!" Of the new people who came [in Madrid], there was one chap, who was a lawyer who spoke no English and was an amazing charismatic character, who had a large personality and who seemed to enjoy Sahaj and Shri Mataji very much. And She also enjoyed him, even though there was a language problem. Somebody had to translate. But he knew so much about different things and apparently She said it was because he had done astral travelling. She said, "He knows a lot of things because of this." And She did say to me, privately She said, "It seems to Me that people can only really take to Sahaj if they have some sort of intelligence," which is one of Mother's names, of course — `cannot be worshipped by the stupid or the cowardly.' And She enjoyed this man very much and when we were leaving, She was anxiously looking at the airport up and down to see if he was going to come and say goodbye. And Her face lit up. She was so happy to see him come to wish Her farewell. And She was putting Her coat on and he lifted Her hair and helped Her put Her coat on. And he said in Spanish, "There. Now I have touched the hair of the Goddess. I can never die." And She said, "You see. You see, he knows who I am." She was very happy with him. Kay McHugh 18) Brian Bell said: We are getting divine approval When Shri Mataji visited Holland and Belgium in the very early eighties [1982], there was a time Robbert Ruigrok had lined up a program in Brussels. So Shri Mataji was driven from somewhere near Ghent across to Brussels and, in the process, suddenly She said, "Look ahead, look ahead!" And here was this rainbow directly over the road, totally balanced. And She said, "There you are, you see, we are getting divine approval for this program." She said to Robert, "And here we are driving through the middle of a rainbow." And we did and it was like we sailed straight through this rainbow and, as we came through it, it dissolved. Brian Bell 19) Ruth Flint said: A simple beautiful puja I asked Shri Mataji if She wanted to have a puja [in Rome in spring 1982] and I told Her I had bought for Her a sari in India, just in case She wanted to have puja. And Shri Mataji said, well, She had not planned for puja, but if we had a sari for Her, then, yes, why not have a puja in the morning, just before She would go to the airport. But, of course, we had nothing at all for puja, so we rushed in a shop and we bought a kind of a very big, plastic, round salad bowl and that was supposed to be the thali. And She asked me if I could read the names, the 108 names which already existed and, of course, I told Her very boastfully, "Yes, of course, Shri Mataji." And then I read them completely wrong because, instead of just saying a mantra, I would say, "Shri Maharajni, Shri Gambira" and so on. And — but She did not make any remarks. So we read these names and you can imagine with nobody really having any experience for doing puja, it was really lacking in protocol. Shri Mataji said what we had to do, but we had no experience in doing that. And so it was a very short and simple, but, of course, beautiful puja and reading these names, their meaning in English and maybe in Italian. It was so extraordinary to read these names in front of Her and maybe it has been the only time. It was a marvellous experience beside or despite all the mistakes, which, of course, were annoying for Shri Mataji, much more than for us because we were not aware of the mistakes. Ruth Flint 20) Edith Kerswell said: I was so worried In those days [1984] things worked out very slowly. We didn't have a mantra book. We didn't have this, that. Gregoire [de Kalbermatten] was our very nice leader and we were a very small collectivity [in Austria]. There were about twenty people. In the following year about thirty-five. So Shri Mataji came once a year and Gregoire, who was always with Mother, one day he had a big meeting in the United Nations, where he was working, and he asked me if I could drive because Mother wanted to go shopping. And I said, "Yes, of course. I can drive any car." So I took his very nice Audi and was driving Mother. And there was another lady, Sorana, came with us. We were driving in the centre of Vienna. And I was so much in a left Nabhi state and I was so worried about finding a parking space. This was worrying me so much. And I had no idea really who Mother was. And when we were shopping, She just touched me once with Her Nabhi finger. She touched my left Nabhi and She said something to me. And that was it. After that, we enjoyed it very much, like always when you are with Mother. We were in different shops. In one they tried to cheat Her, so it was a big story. And Sorana was translating in her language, Albanian or Serbo-Croat or whatever, and then we were sitting in the car nicely chatting, Mother like a very nice lady and somebody was bringing some sandwiches and Coca-Cola, so it was a very, very nice experience. And then later I could not understand that I had been worrying about such a small thing. Edith Kerswell 21) Maggie Burns said: A big maya There was a big maya about the puja [in Birmingham in 1985]. It was all planned and was going to be on the Saturday morning. We didn't have quite all the things. I think the sari was missing, so then it was going to be on Saturday afternoon. And then the sari didn't arrive Saturday afternoon either. It ended up being on the Sunday. And on the Sunday it snowed and it was beautiful. Shri Mataji was sitting in front of a big window and behind you could see the lake at Birmingham University and see the snow falling. And Shri Mataji said the sari hadn't turned up because it wasn't right to do the puja on the Saturday. It wasn't the right time. Maggie Burns 22) Richard Payment said: It was the most glorious thing, a total illusion. You see, it was Spring. I think there was blossoms even. And here was Shri Mataji with this almost floor to ceiling window behind Her and this snow suddenly falling during Her talk. It was like She was in a movie or a glass ball that simulates snowfall. Of all the backdrops of all the pujas, perhaps it was the most beautiful. And when it happened I think She was talking about maya. Richard Payment 23) Robbert Ruigrok said: My eyes My arms My hands We were preparing Shri Mataji's visit to Belgium [in 1985] from the city of Ghent and, from a telephone box near my university, where the Plateau Street meets the Blandijnberg, I telephoned to London to Shri Mataji to ask for some details about Her trip. At one point She spoke some beautiful and totally unexpected words of encouragement for our preparative work, which was done with the help of Dominique Laprique [Sutherland] and Bogdan Shehovych. She said, "You are My eyes, My arms, hands." Suddenly, the phone was interrupted as it ran out of money. I had to change paper money and managed to get about fifteen to twenty coins of twenty Belgian francs — a total of about eight pounds, which I hoped would be enough for the conversation with Mother. I rang back, Mother came on line again and, in Her humorous way, She made some comment about how terrible these modern telephone machines are, as they take all your money. After the conversation, I put the phone down on the hook. And now the miracle: to my great surprise, like a real jackpot, the phone released an avalanche of twenty Belgian franc coins. Non-stop, a continuous steam of coins came out and I had to hold my hands together in order to catch them all. All the coins I had put in came back. Being against all the normal laws of nature and definitively against all rules of how phone machines operate in Belgium — this never happens — it is an incredible and immediate confirmation that when we work for Mother and use our own money, the rewards do not fail to come to us quickly. We went to Paris and asked Mother for the preparation of Her visit, whether She preferred a few quality seekers to be reached or rather masses of many, many people. Mother answered that She preferred many, many people. We went back and our preparative work started — posters, press releases, organizing a press conference in the International Press Centre, an article with a colour photo of Mother on the front page of the main Brussels paper, Le Soir — which was done with the help of Dominique Laprique [Sutherland] and Bogdan Shehovych. Now the miracle: the quite big hall in the Shell Building near the Brussels Midi Station got so filled with a continuous stream of Brussels seekers that we had to arrange for a second hall to be opened for us in the same building, where Engelbert [Oman] headed a second Self Realization program, simultaneously with Mother's in the main hall next door — an incredible success, thanks to Shri Mataji's expression of Her wish and vision. If Mother's vision backs ours, there is nothing that can stop us. Robbert Ruigrok 24) Richard Payment said: It was really something. At one point the lobby of that building was to me more like a train station. So many people were coming and going in different directions, flowing, as if looking where they should go. It was remarkable. We simply hadn't expected that large a crowd, so a second room was opened. There were so many people that many yogis could not get into either hall. As I looked from one room to the next, it was obvious the same meeting was happening in both places. Shri Mataji and the yogi in the second hall were speaking on the same topics, at the same time. Richard Payment 25) Ruth Flint said: All of us with Shri Mataji When Shri Mataji went to Austria for the first time, perhaps in Autumn 1982, and She was staying at Gregoire and Catherine's home, we were about twelve or fifteen of us sleeping in their flat and Shri Mataji stayed, I don't know, for five, six days. And it was just paradise. Her bedroom was quite far away from the bathroom and in the early morning around six o'clock or something, She would go there and then not come back to Her bedroom. She would sit in the lounge and we would bring Her Her first cup of tea and then slowly all the yogis would wake up and gather round Her, most of us in pajamas or nighties, then slowly getting ready. And She would sip Her tea. Her breakfast would come much later and She would speak about things and tell stories which were not taped. One morning She started talking about the astrological signs and asking the yogis around which sign they were and giving a description of each astrological sign and it was just so — such paradise. And in the evening, after the program, we would eat there. She would sit at the table. Most of the days She ate with us, not in Her bedroom. We would sit all round Her at the table. We were approximately twelve. We, the yoginis, would go round the table, serving all silently while She was speaking, all sitting at the same big table with Shri Mataji. It was just fantastic. Ruth Flint 26) Anton Grabmeyer said: She knows me through and through It was in my first year of Sahaj life. It happened after a puja in nearby Rome Italy when the Austrian bus was ready with the luggage, waiting to bring us back to Austria just after the puja. It was a wonderful weekend with many yogis and I felt really tired after the puja. I was sitting in the back of the tent watching things going on at the stage. Yogis were playing and singing bhajans and Shri Mataji was enjoying it. I was also really enjoying, but I was almost falling off of my chair. I was really exhausted. I couldn't sit any more, couldn't stand any more, couldn't keep my eyes open any more. So I decided to cuddle myself up in the bus and start my sleep even before the bus would leave. So I pulled my ears, made namaskar to Shri Mataji and when I stood up again Shri Mataji looked directly at me in the back of the tent, folded Her hands and bowed Her head gently. Whoosh! What a wakeup that was for me — no more tiredness, no more craving for going sleeping. And immediately I knew, "She knows me through and through," though I had never met Her personally. And I knew She knows everyone of us. We do belong to Her attention. I sat down again in awe and pure attention, watching Shri Mataji until She left. Anton Grabmeyer 27) Suzanna Calipriya said: Hours in a moment It was the Navaratri Puja in Switzerland and Shri Mataji asked fourteen young girls to come to Her Feet. And then, later on, She asked just two — two young girls — to stay at Her Lotus Feet. And so I was the one and another sisiter and we had to rub Her Feet with red kumkum. And it was so long, you know, because we were such full of love rubbing the Feet. And I felt I was like hours were going in a moment. And then Shri Mataji said something to me in English and I said — like a child, I look at Her — and I said, "Yes, Shri Mataji." And then I asked my sister, "What did She say?" because I was thoughtless, you know, and I just look in Her eyes. And She told me twice or thrice, I think, and each time I said, "Yes, Shri Mataji, yes." And then, "What did She say?" And then at that time I felt as if I was in a belly, you know, like a fetus, but physically, like it was huge, you know, and it was wonderful. I was a baby. You know, I could not even — physically I had to, you know, to be like a baby. And then She called again the other sisters, the twelve other sisters to give them bangles. And She gave them the bangles and at the end She had mine in Her hands. And I was at Her Lotus Feet waiting for the bangles and I looked at Her and that time She was, you know, vibrating the bangles. And She looked very straight and with Her Mahakali eyes, She was, you know, doing something very far away. And so I just looked at Her and "Oh oh, no," with my head down. "I cannot ask Her, `Please, the bangles.'" So I waited and then again I looked at Her and then again the same eyes, you know, huge. And a pujari later asked me from behind, you know, he asked me, "What are you doing here?" you know. And I just show him my arm, you know, wrist, "Bangles. You know, I'm waiting for the bangles." And then he asked Shri Mataji, can You give her the bangles?" And Shri Mataji looked at me, "Oh," as if She was not aware that I was at Her Lotuses. "Oh, ah, yes, I knew I have counted fourteen girls." There was one left. And She was Her Mahamaya. "I knew there was one." And then She gave it to me. And later on, after some time, one after the other, the bangles, just glass, broke, you know, like this. And something was clearing. Suzanna Calipriya 28) Alla Kulkarni said: Mother of Russia I still don't know if other yogis knew about the [attempted Russian] coup [of August 19th, 1991] that had just happened when we were standing on the bus station, since nobody talked. We were enjoying the Sahaj collective in silence. Our hearts were full of joyful expectation to see Shri Mataji soon and the nature around resounded in our hearts. Whenever Shri Mataji comes to Russia, the whole nature is aware of Her visit and the air becomes very fresh and the fragrance of flowers spreads all around. Then the bus came and we boarded. In the bus, suddenly we noticed that the bus radio was sounding unusually loud and something terrifying was in the tone of the radio. I listened up. They were announcing about the military revolution that "finally established the true communist military regime." That was difficult to believe. We enjoyed our freedom in Russia since 1985 and gradually it seemed that the dark times were over. Still, the voice of the dictator sounded very familiar. My whole childhood I spent pretending to be respecting communist values, just like everybody else in the country, but now this "military revolution" seemed like a nightmare dream. It did not seem real. The reality was that we were going to meet Shri Mataji in the airport and She is the Mother of Russia, the Mother of the World. She is God. What could matter when we are going to see Her face, full of love, very soon? Overjoyed we were, when finally She arrived and all the yogis met Her. We were standing completely thoughtless, enveloped in the bliss of Her love. The whole airport hall was full of Sahaja Yogis. Then Shri Mataji said, "I am very sorry what happened to your country." The Sahaja Yogis answered, "We are not living in Russia. We are living in the Kingdom of God. Why should we be afraid?" And that was what everyone felt. We were together with God. Why would we fear of anything? When Shri Mataji is in Russia, all the Russian yogis enjoy very much and I think that time She poured even more love on us, so the political problems seemed just like a stupid game. And we thought, "Whatever will happen to Russia, Sahaja Yogis are not going to be affected because we are now one with the Divine Power." Of course, we had some hopes that Shri Mataji would do something to help, since we thought it must be for a reason that She came exactly on the day when coup happened. And that turned out to be true. While Sahaja Yogis, as Her little children, were carelessly enjoying Her love and protection, She worked very hard on the Russian situation, as we learned later and at a meeting that occurred a couple of days after the coup was over, Shri Mataji was to leave Russia, I think for Europe. Later the same day, the Russian collective thanked Her for saving Russia. She answered very modestly, as if this task of saving Russia was very small, "I just lay down for a couple of hours and worked out the situation." And She added that She felt very strong or powerful during this visit. Alla Kulkarni

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