Memories of our Divine Mother: 9. GROWTH AND LOVE
The Paraclete Shri Mataji 1) Sharon Vincent said:
She put Her hand on my heart
Once Mother gave me vibrations to work something out. I suppose I must have had a big ego. I went off a little and I wanted to find out for myself what was truth, you see. And I'd already had Realization, so I went away a little bit. And I had such a horrific nightmare once that I knew at that moment that if I had to choose between heaven and hell — because I saw monsters and everything — that I was really at that crossroads. And I knew absolutely and for sure that if I didn't make a decision, then it would be too late. And the next morning I meditated and I've never stopped since.
And when I came back to Sahaja Yoga I felt so — well, I suppose it was all the years that had built up, all the emotions that had built up. I cried and I cried and I cried. And Mother put Her hand on my heart, my left heart, I was in front of hundreds of people, but I didn't even notice they were there. And She put Her hand on my left heart so normally and naturally and She was busy talking to other things and She had Her hand on my heart and I was sobbing my heart out. And after I don't know how long, five minutes maybe, as soon as She took Her hand, exactly at the same time as She took Her hand away, I completely stopped and I felt completely normal. I realized then that the sobbing was a possession or something had happened and when She took Her hand away — poof! It just left. I didn't know what was happening to me. It was at a public program in London.
2) Marilyn Leate said:
She would look at photos of Sahaja Yogis and remark proudly, "Look how beautiful my daughters are" or "See how good-looking my sons are." She even recommended some of them to become actors.
3) Pamela Bromley said:
My friend thinks that you are charging too much
Brighton [Sahaja Yogis] were hosting the puja in Eastbourne [England]. Pamela was helping with the stage. Other people were cooking and looking after Mother and doing other things. Pamela sat outside Mother's room meditating by herself. No more than five minutes later someone came out of the door and said, "Does anyone know anything about Hastings, as Mother wants to go there?" — which happens to be about twenty miles from Eastbourne. Pamela said, "I do," as I had lived there until I was about sixteen years old.
Pamela ended up spending the entire day with Mother having a picnic, going to the old town and Mother was buying all types of different crafts. And we went into one particular shop and Mother asked Pamela about a particular price and Pamela said she thought it was a bit high and Mother said to the man in the shop, "My friend thinks that you are charging too much." They went out of the shop and there was a man busking and singing, "Knock Knock Knocking on Heaven's Door."
4) Pat Anslow said:
She never tired of clearing us out
Once She came to Gavin [Brown]'s, when we used to have these meetings on Sunday afternoons at Gavin's place. Once She came and said, "You are all so caught up." And I don't remember quite what had happened, but we had been playing some Chinese game called mah-jongg and She said, "What is this? You've all got these bhoots, you know. How did you get so badly caught up?" We got the bhoots from the mah-jongg. And then She worked on us virtually all afternoon and all evening and then at night we all had a chain, sort of one Sahaja Yogi had to put his hand on Shri Mataji and then we just had a chain, so we were all holding hands all night. She was asleep, sometimes waking up and saying, "All right, put your hand here" or "Put your hand there." But I just can't imagine any human being able to do that.
We were all sitting in a line. Somebody had a hand on Shri Mataji and we all had one hand on each other. The end person had their hand out of the window and we were just sitting there and it just went on hour after hour after hour. And eventually, we all fell asleep. And I woke up early in the morning and we were all lying still holding on to each other. I looked up and Shri Mataji was sitting watching me and She said, "Ready? Okay, let's carry on."
A lot of it I remember as being quite hard work. It was really quite difficult at times, quite painful. But it was always magical. A lot of clearing out went on.
5) Djamel Metouri said:
And then in the afternoon She would say "Okay, you should go and watch a movie," to have a change of atmosphere. But She would work actually virtually twenty-four hours. How many human beings are capable of doing that?
So She put so much love into us and She worked so hard and yet we were really — we had our own problems. We were far from perfect and yet She always had this sort of love for us. And She always received us. And if you think of all the love She has given us, as She Herself said later on, "If you can't love others, considering the love I give you, you can't love anyone." And it is true because the love She gave us was so powerful. And there was so much of it and She showed it at every single moment. She never tired of loving every one of us. And She never tired of clearing us out. And every time we went to see Her, She always looked at our vibrations. She always worked on us. It was a non-stop job for many years.
6) Gail Pottinger said:
To work out the vibrations
She would often ask us to do things. Like She'd often ask us to put our hand on Her Vishuddhi or something to ease the vibrations. And She'd often ask us to put a lot of pressure on. I remember She said, "Press harder. Press harder." And She'd often ask us to do things to work out the vibrations.
7) Pamela Bromley said:
In a talk in Birmingham, John Firth was fiddling with his watch and Mother said, "Give it here and gave it a bandhan and said the bhoots are like flies. They get everywhere."
8) Kevin Anslow said:
She was telling bedtime stories
I don't know how many times this happened — but sometimes She would have the Sahaja Yogis — and there were only about five or six of them at the time, at least who were there — sleep in Her bedroom at night. They would all be laid out on the floor, kind of thing and She would be up on a couch. One evening I couldn't sleep, as I had never had an experience like this before, and She told me to, "Come up here on the couch." She noticed I was sort of restless, so I got up and started to tell me stories. I don't remember all the stories She told me, but one was about Shri Hanuman going to get that flower and he brought the mountain back. She told me that. She told me another one about the prophet Mohammed, but I don't really remember it too well. But that was a very special memory. She was telling bedtime stories to make me go to sleep, basically. It is a fragmentary memory, but it has always stuck with me.
9) Pamela Bromley said:
She was just so wonderful wasn't She
When She was at my house [in Brighton], Mother used to sit in the bed and all the yoginis could sit round. It was a big high bed and Mother said, "I feel like Queen Victoria."
And we went shopping with Her in the Lanes at Brighton. We went to that Italian ceramics shop and I remember Mother looking in there and saying, "I've got a weakness for china." And I remember going with Mother to the Lanes, in a really smart part of Brighton, in my sari and a smudged bindi and no shoes because I couldn't find them in the pile. And Mother was buying all these things and I was paying for them and someone else was collecting them. Mother was just so motherly. She was just so wonderful, wasn't She?
10) Felicity Payment said:
For ten thousand other people
Shri Mataji was always inspiring us and encouraging us in so many ways. She would try to raise us out of our personal problems, so that we could see the bigger picture, the greater vision that She was creating for us.
I remember when Grezyna [Anslow] first came. On hearing that she was from Poland, Shri Mataji said, "Ah, really. Now we can work out Poland."
11) Grezyna Anslow said:
Shri Mataji did not say that my left Vishuddhi — the pain in my left wrist — was connected with Poland, though I know it was. Shri Mataji said about Polish people, "Their problems are working out because my attention is on you."
When in 1981 — I think — the political situation in Poland was very tense because of Solidarity uprising, Shri Mataji called me to do the puja, Christmas Puja, and was very concerned about Poland. Shri Mataji asked me to pray for peace in Poland during the puja.
The next week I heard that martial law was declared by General Jaruzelski, who was then the head of state. I did not know what to think, as it was such a controversial decision to make. I found out later on that had Jaruzelski not declared the martial law, the Russian tanks, already waiting for an order to go in, would have invaded the country and there would have been a terrible bloodshed, followed by occupation by the Russians.
I saw Shri Mahakali fighting the pope in my Agnya chakra at that time.
12) Felicity Payment said:
Shri Mataji said that each one of us works it out for ten thousand other people. As our chakras start to clear, it has this effect on the collective unconscious, so that other people like us with the same problems — or just unconsciously the vibrations start to clear it for them, too. It made you feel better to know that your suffering was doing some good.
13) Djamel Metouri said:
The benevolence of the whole
I remember once Rustum [Bujorjee] had introduced this gentleman who was a German of some kind, of the Jung society. Adler, I think his name was Dr. Adler. We were in Her house, in Her flat, during the morning on the day She was going to meet these people in Hampstead. She worked on a painting all morning. She took this Indian painting and She changed it. She put Her own — She had worked all morning on this painting. She was showing us what She was doing and how She was changing the colour and the shapes and She was repainting it all. It was some kind of watercolour. You know how these Indian paintings come on this cloth and you can then again put your own colours on top if you want. But She was doing it. She was doing that and modifying the colours and modifying the shapes and so on. And, of course, so many vibrations She was putting into this painting. We didn't know why, but we were there. We witnessed that.
And then, in the afternoon, these people came. Actually, we didn't go to see them the first time. They came to Mother's flat — Shri Mataji, I think I remember correctly, Gregoire was there and this Dr. Adler. Mother was, of course, very happy to meet them because they were following Jung, who was a realized soul and who did so much work, which is really Sahaja work. And then Mother, She was very generous, of course. If anybody said they liked something, She would just give it. And then She had this painting and She said, "You like this painting?" And I think they said yes. And She gave them that painting. And Gregoire was shocked and he said, "Mother, you have been working on it all morning." And She said, "Okay, yes, but it is not for me. It's got vibrations. Those vibrations will go and work on others. You have to show your generosity."
But, for instance, the next time we saw these people, Dr. Adler and his wife, we went to their flat and Mother had a very expensive bangle studded with stones. And She was about to give it to Dr. Adler's wife, but She was a bit shocked. Not shocked, but in a way She was a bit disappointed when Dr. Adler said, "We don't believe in the whole. We believe in the few."
Whereas, Mother said the whole of Her nature is about the whole, is about encompassing the whole and giving Sahaja Yoga to the whole. Whereas this Dr. Adler, he believed in the few. He believed that maybe Sahaja Yoga or Self Realization was just for a few privileged people. And, at that very moment, She withheld that bracelet that She was going to give. She decided that maybe it should be given to someone who really thought about the whole. It was interesting to see how that generosity, in as much as it is absolutely unconditional, She never withheld anything, but at the same time, there can be moments when She says, "All right, I am willing to be extremely generous, I will give everything." But if it has to be given also to those who think about the benevolence of the whole, not just the benevolence of a few people.
14) Derek Ferguson said:
You've chosen your parents
I started working for Mother at the hotel in Bramham Gardens. I remember I used to see Shri Mataji and She used to say, "How are you?" And I'd tell Her. And I remember some people, even if they were feeling rough, they would say, "Fine, Shri Mataji." And we were waiting and I said, "I'm going to tell Her." And She said, "How are you?" And I said, "Oh, I've got a bad pain here, on the heart." And Shri Mataji said, "It's your father. He drinks a lot, doesn't he?" I was stunned and said, "Yes." She said, "Oh, you should shoebeat him." I said, "We've been told we're not allowed to shoebeat our parents, Shri Mataji." She said, "No, that's okay. I give you permission." So I thought, "Great." You know, but my chest felt like someone had whacked me and I had to shoebeat him so this physical pain that was there went away. So it's like that really, where we don't know what's happening, but once it's explained everything is clear.
I remember Shri Mataji being in a puja somewhere in Nightingale Lane [Lambeth, London] and somebody didn't want to have anything to do with their parents. They said they were bad and this and that and Mother said, "No, you've chosen your parents. You're the one who's chosen them, so you should respect them, you should take care of them, make sure they're all right." But even them being worried about you, being concerned, you actually get the pain. So we have to be nice to them, all that. Then we're all right. But just that subtle thing — it would be nice if people knew that. And then not when they say, "Well, she's programmed — nothing to do with my family. They're bad to us" and all that. But if we can witness them, try and be nice, otherwise we get the problem, not them.
15) John Glover said:
We were at someone's house in Tamworth [England] and Mother sat down in Her chair and looked at one girl and said, "You must forgive your father." And at that time this girl just burst into tears. Mother carried on and said, "You don't have to like your parents, but you must respect them and forgive."
16) Vicky Halperin said:
Shri Mataji said I was drawn to a certain family, one you see after this, talking of family and background. I said, "Shri Mataji I understood children choose their parents. Why would I have chosen such a difficult family?" And She went very slowly and turned and She looked and She said, "Very courageous." And I felt wonderful, actually, because you know you can imagine a dozen answers that could have been, that would start you thinking and analyzing. That was just it, "Very courageous."
17) Pamela Bromley said:
Why not devote to Sahaja Yoga
Mother said, "You've been a queen. You've had your palaces. You've had your families. Why not devote your time to Sahaj Yoga?
18) Kevin Anslow said:
A living symbolism
I can remember Mother working on people. People would come and visit Her and She would, often. Sometimes Indians would come, just to worship Her as an incarnation. And then they would disappear again. And then She would get people who had heard of Her or that Sahaja Yogis had brought them along and She would work extensively on them. She would talk to them and find out where their attitudes were and suggest things to them. She would sit down and sometimes work on them for hours, on their chakras. She used to get me to help occasionally. I can remember one time — rather like what I was talking about earlier when She used to get me to do things. There were two or three Sahaja Yogis — I think it was my father [Pat Anslow] and Douglas [Fry] or somebody like that — tried to raise this gentleman's kundalini and it really wasn't happening. And at the same time I was playing with these kind of electronic spoons. And it was a kind of mixing device that Douglas had bought and I was kind of mucking around with it and they said, "Can you come and help, Kevin?" And I forget what Mother said to me, but I remember sort of moving this spoon machine up the back and we tried to raise this man's kundalini and up it shot. And Shri Mataji said, "See. That's how it's done." And what it was that this man made of this, I don't know, but quite frankly it worked.
It is not the sort of material, apparent nature of things. It is the sort of living symbolism and there's a kind of fabric of attitude behind how reality works. And I think that was what She was getting at. Often I think that was what She was doing with people. I mean, there were quite contradictory things that She would say or do would make sense in a larger fabric. Being so young at the time, I can't remember actual examples, but more as a kind of emotional impression than I do in terms of little anecdotal memories.
19) Douglas Fry said:
I think what Mother was pointing out was that it is not the physical action that does the job, but the vibrations within the attention. This is why we are shown various hand movement, as they are guides for the attention.
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