Ending my 9 year wait at Belapur Hospital - Part 1

From:  "dr_balwinder" <dr_balwinder@yahoo.com>
Date:  Sat Jan 31, 2004  7:26 pm
Subject:  Ending my 9 year wait at Belapur Hospital
Dear Brothers and Sisters,

I am narrating this story of my experience because I know that there
may be some SY who may be in a similar plight but are at odds as to
what to do next and also the most important reason is to give them
faith & hope if by any chance it has diminished.

I was given my realization late October 1994 and since that time I
had only on three occasions felt what I feel may be taken as the cool
breeze in my opinion and comparing it with what I feel now I would
say only once did I really feel the cool breeze from October 1994
till mid-November 1993.

I was the only one in my family practicing SY when my first son was
born in 1997 and second in 1999 and third in 2002.The first two boys
would meditate with me on and off.It was only somewhere in August
2003 that my wife finally took to SY and she had no problems feeling
the cool breeze immediately whereas I was still not feeling it.


The reason why I decided not to wait anymore were multiple
1)the desire to participate much much more in the spread of SY than
what I had been doing so far
2)my wife had started feeling vibrations and would soon be asking me
to how I felt
3)there is a VIP family/friend that has a member suffering who I
wanted to help but I needed to feel the vibrations myself


I had tried seeking "treatment' before and was "treated' by some
senior SY somewhere in the year 1995-6 and there was not much of
difference, in fact none and thus my silent wait all this years. I
kept quiet for many reasons and accepted the fact that I was just
supposed to get my feeling when AdiShakti decides the time is right
for me.

I have been meditating twice daily since the day I got my self
realization late October 1994.

I have been going to the collective regularly at least 2-4 times a
month except for the period of mid2000 till mid2002 where it was
about 1-3 times a month .I have been to GP where as we were
approaching GP the yogis traveling with me in the same vehicle were
commenting on feeling the vibrations becoming stronger as we got
closer to GP and feeling nothing I just said nothing neither agreeing
or disagreeing.

I also went to a B-day pooja in New Delhi 2001.

Every now and then some SYogi/ni would tell me that my vibes are
good , my chakras are okay and some who have visited my meditation
room in my house which is solely for meditation feeling very good

It was just like going to a doctor with a genuine complain that I
had problem breathing/hearing/seeing etc but the experienced doctor
examining you and doing the necessary tests finding out that nothing
is wrong.


So decision was made to go to Belapur in my heart about 12 months ago and the opportunity to go presented by itself in the 2nd half of last
year when my biological mother (who has tremendous respect for Shree
Mataji but is not in Sahaj) wanted to go to India for some personal
matters.My wife was pregnant 4 months then and the youngest being
just 12mths old and thus going to India was not feasible for
them.At the same time she did not want me to be away more than 2
weeks.How was I to go to Belapur when I had to accompany my mother
for at least 8-9 days to finish her work and Dr Madhur recommending
I stay for 2 weeks.

My wife was too new in Sahaj (few months) to understand my "problem" in inability to feel cool breeze for the past 9 years and that I
needed to stay for 2 weeks at Belapur.I was not prepared to risk a 9
yr wait for her to take up SY to be jeopardized in anyway by my

Then divine help started its play, a very good Gujurati friend of
mine who was my senior in medical school and now was a cardiologist
in Mozambique was also planning to come to India. If we met it would
be meeting after 15yrs and he wanted to spend some days with me(he
mentioned 1 whole week) but could only meet me in Mumbai. I was
looking forward to meet him too and then suddenly it dawned on me
that I could use this reason to go to Mumbai. My wife reluctantly
agreed to us(me & my mum) being away for 3 weeks.

Then suddenly out of nowhere a businessman involved in setting
computerized hospitals in the country approached me to be an advisor
to their group and wanted me to check a few hospitals in India using
a particular software(PULSE) with all expenses and other expenditure
paid for a period of a week. I extended my period of stay in India by
another week without informing my wife knowing full well she will not
agree. I thought I will tell her when my 3 weeks in India are up—I
felt it would have been easier for her to accept a 1 week delay at
the end of my 3week stay in India than to tell her right then that
my stay in India will be 4 weeks.I somehow changed my mind and I did
let her know a week before I left for India.

To cut a long story short , the plan to check the software in India
did not materialize at the last moment since the management decided
for an Austrian IT system(AHIS).The date of return could not be
changed by then since this was peak traveling time and thus I had the
2 weeks extra for my stay at Belapur as advised by Dr Madhur. Until
today I do not know why my wife did not question the duration of my
stay(4 weeks) in India despite me letting her know my date of
departure and return about a week before I left.

Landed in India on the 10th of November and had done the bulk of my
work which my mother wanted done by the 15th and took the flight to
Mumbai on the 17th(BTW it is much much cheaper to travel by rail
within India if you have some extra time).


Reached Belapur at 1145am on 17-11 and after registration , I waited
a little while to meet Dr Madhur since it was a working day .After
the normal pleasantries when 2 strangers meet we discussed my problem and just sitting across the table she told me what was wrong with me as far as the subtle system was concerned. She told me the reasons for my inability to feel the vibrations and told me how to overcome my problem. She then told me who my doctor during my stay there will be and called Anil to see me to my room.

I rested for a while after unpacking and after a bath I went to the
treatment room which is also the OPD clinic.I was attended to by Dr
Anujad and she asked me what my problems were and I replied the same as to Dr Madhur—no vibrations for 9 yrs. She then proceeded to treat me and after she had finished she told which of my charkas needed extra work. What was really very reassuring to my medically inclined mind was that her diagnosis of charkas were matching that of Dr Madhur. There was no change in my vibratory awareness after the
treatment as far as I was concerned. I was told to do some specific
treatment in the form of mantras, footsoak , meditating on mother
earth etc and did it diligently.3 days passed and I still could not
feel the vibrations.

Just a brief schedule of the daily practice at Belapur Hospital
5-6 am: meditate sitting in the common lawn,
7am : morning tea served
8am—about 9am : collective meditation
9am :breakfast
6-8am & 8-10.30 am : individualized clearing as advised by doctor(s)
in charge
10.30—2 pm : clinic time but an in-patient will spend about
30minutes on average being cleared by his/her doctor.
1pm : lunch is served
2-5pm : individualized clearing as advised by doctor(s) in charge,
rest time
4.30pm: tea served
5-7 : clearing by doctors at clinic(this sessions is meant just for
in patients only)
7pm : dinner served
8pm-9.30/10 pm: watch Shree Mataji's tape , bhajans and collective


Somewhere between the 4-6th days I began to feel some "coolness" at
the central 3 fingers of my right hand .It was so "strange" a feeling
which I do not remember ever feeling in the past 9 years that I could
not say with conviction that it was the cool breeze. The only similar
experience to this sensation was —
1)hands exposed during winter (but then the whole hand felt cold)
2)wet fingertips feeling cool as the water evaporates(although the
cool breeze felt more cooler)
So in a nutshell as far as I was concerned I had no convincing
experience of vibrations/cool breeze after 6 days of treatment

Then somewhere on the 6th or 7th day I felt vibrations on my right
hand fingers while meditating early in the morning on the lawn and it
took me by surprise and despite checking for drafts and putting the
hand in all different positions I still felt the vibrations and
finally was convinced when I put my non feeling(of cool breeze) left
hand's fingers just 1cm away on top of the fingers of my right hand
and the vibrations still were being felt on right but not on the left.

Then on the same evening or the next day after the collective
meditaion where I did not feel any "convincing" vibrations , we had a
very spontaneous session of bhajan singing where the "patients"
played the major role in it and suddenly strong vibrations were felt
when my mind was least thinking about them.

On either the 8th or 9th day , Dr Anujad could not attend to me for
some reason and I was attended to by Dr Manoj and the diagnosis by
him was similar to Dr Anujad and treatment was the almost the same. I mention it because it is relevant scientifically—in western
medicine we use history taking, physical examination , blood tests ,
X-rays/scans etc to arrive at a diagnosis and if done correctly ,
good doctors arrive at the same diagnosis. Here a brief history is
taken, no tests were necessary and no physical examination too and
just by the doctors strong vibratory awareness a diagnosis reached
very quickly. Even Dr Manoj reached the same diagnosis.

To the doctors using SY techniques it may be no big deal to come to
the same conclusion but to a doctor trained in allopathic/western
medicine it was and is very significant.

Many a time I had been told by well-meaning fellow yogis that I
should stay away from any place deemed negative and the meaning of
a "negative place" varied to a certain extent with every yogi that
spoke about it.

In order to break this conditioning I intentionally went to cyber
cafes in the afternoons every other day and the other reason was to
keep in touch with my wife as well as kids. I am not encouraging
going to any negative places (to me cyber café does not fit as
negative although I know a lot of people come to surf on negative
websites). I will talk more about negative places in my 2nd part of
this post. I mention "negative places" to send a message home that a
genuine SYogi/ni should be able to face any negativity and
bhoots/bhadhas (however many there maybe) should be scared of you
rather than the other way around.

I heard enough stories from patients while at the hospital where
SYogi/nis who came for treatment .They had "embarrassing" (to me it
was an embarrassment to know that there are such SY) stories that
their fellow SYogi/ni stayed away from them since they felt their
vibrations were not good or labeled them as negative. There was even
1 case where the patient was stunned that the female doctor in
Belapur touched her because it had been ingrained in her mind that
she was too negative to even be nearby let alone touch. She
got "cured" relatively easily and could have avoided the trip when
actually all she needed was more compassion from her own collective
for her. I know of people in my own collective who claim that so and
so is negative and has poor vibrations and try to sit away from them
to avoid "catching" but I could not be bothered then (since I had no
vibratory awareness then) and now I am going to make it a point to
sit near them. I cannot understand how in the Ashram anything can
affect my charkas and what is point calling ourselves SYogi/ni if we
cannot face any negativity head-on be it in or out of the ashram.

I know that there are exceptions to the case where no SYogi/ni can
help that person but IMO this type of cases are very few and far

There were about 3 days when Dr Anujad could not attend to me and on
some of this occasions Dr Madhur said she would attend to my
treatment and there was one occasion I was late and she had to go off
for a presentation and she told me that one of the doctors would
attend to me. Dr X had earlier called me for my treatment but I had
declined his offer since I was due to be treated by Dr Madhur.

When Dr Madhur left I had to wait about an hour before my turn came
again and it was with Dr X again. Once seated in front of SM's photo
I was left by Dr X who went to attend to some outpatient and I sat
meditating and after about 15-20 mins began to feel "neglected" by
the doctor. After another 10 mins wait I decided I will forgo today
morning's treatment and also felt a bit guilty at leaving without
waiting anymore but in my heart knew SM understood. I had my lunch
and slept with the fact that I had missed a treatment and the
typical "conditioned" mind telling me that I may fall back in my

I woke up refreshed and was wondering why both my hands fingertips
were feeling cold. When I put both my hands under my armpits I did not feel cold hands and still kept them there for a minute or so and on
putting my hands out same feeling of vibrations on fingertips and my
bare feet were not cold at all.

Another barrier to my leaving the hospital was removed since it made
me realize that my ability to feel the vibrations was progressing
well. It meant that missing one treatment did not mean my progress
stopped or regressed. It meant that what we do overall in the long run
to improve our vibratory awareness is more important.

A similar example can be given. Western medicine most of the times
never cures you. I say most of the times because antibiotics and
antiviral drugs do cure a person but these too play a role only for a
short acute period. The rest of the healing before during and after
the infection is still carried out by the body's immune system.
The rest of the bulk of current day diseases are just being treated
symptomatically without curing which is why diabetics, hypetensives,
arthritis, asthma, IHD etc.etc patients are on life long treatment.
All this diseases can be avoided totally or delayed till very old age
if a person looks after his physical health well from young by having
the right lifestyle habits. Overall care in the long run starting
early in life and consistency is very very important.

In Belapur the doctors just help to get your chakras put right and
guide you to do the right path but to maintain them and improve
further is our own responsibility. If we nurture our spirit well it
will grow and that brings me to the next topic. The doctors are also
acutely aware that most of the SYogi/nis have stopped at and are
comfortable at the level of having just good vibrations and are not
going deeper. We were not discussing the patients at the hospital when this topic came up but SYogi/nis in general.

That evening the same doctor X attended to me and made the same
diagnosis. Since I was already feeling the vibrations on my hands the
dr wanted me to feel on my head. He worked on me for a good 20 minutes and at the end of it I told him I feel nothing and he and his intern (learning dr) were amazed. He said that "tumari kundalini toh barsaa rahe hai" meaning your kundalini is just gushing out—I smiled
because I knew it was the truth and it would be just a matter of time
before I could verify it myself.

Dr Madhur kept on humbly re-emphasising that it is the AdiShakti that
was clearing us and improving our subtle system and that the doctors
were just AdiShakti's instruments for doing so.

In part II I will talk about (1)how I "prepared" myself to leave the
hospital (2)the meaning of love that mother often mentions (3) other
fellow SYogi/nis experiences (4)my experiences after being discharged.

My philosophy of life is simple when I am struggling towards a goal
doing my best - it is like climbing a mountain, some may climb faster
than you but you know for sure that the view at the mountain top is
still going to be the same.

Enjoy the journey!!

Dr Balwinder
Consultant Surgeon & Head
Dept of Otorhinolaryngology,Head & Neck Surgery,
Putrajaya Hospital,
Putrajaya , Malaysia.


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