Memories of our Divine Mother: 4. THE FIRST PUBLIC PROGRAMS

The Great Adi Shakti Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi
The Paraclete Shri Mataji
1) Maureen Rossi said:

Like learning to ride a bike

When Shri Mataji came back to England in 1976, after we had first met Her in '75, we didn't have public programs. We just had these meetings at Gavin and Jane [Brown]'s house. At one stage She called me and said that She had to go to an Indian ladies' meeting somewhere in west London. And She wanted me to come and talk about Sahaja Yoga. We'd never done anything like that before and I was absolutely terrified. I was twenty-one. She took me on the tube and all the way there on the tube She schooled me as to what I was going to say and what was going to happen and how it would be.”It'll be all right.”I just couldn't believe this. And we walked from the tube. I mean" " can you imagine all this?” " going on the tube with Mother.

We got to this place and the Indian ladies were very respectful of Mother, which was something new for me to see, how they regarded Her. We went through the whole thing of Her taking Her socks off so that they could get to Her Feet as well. They understood about touching Her Feet momentarily, whereas we had just been told," Put your hands under Her Feet to get the vibrations.”So it was again a new experience to see that whole thing. And then She got me to sit in front of all these ladies and She sat just a little way from me and She fed me lines to say. Then someone translated them. After about ten minutes it was like learning to ride a bike. She sort of gave me a final push and I was off and She didn't have to prompt me any more because suddenly here were people who actually wanted to know about Shri Mataji. It didn't matter that they didn't understand me and they had to wait to have it translated and perhaps would never do it again. It was this incredible surge of feeling that I could tell people about Mother and it was my first experience of talking to people. And the way in which She literally hand-led me along that path was incredible. And I didn't want to stop. They kind of had to haul me off.”Well, thank you very much. Come and have some tea"or something. And we went back by tube.

Maureen Rossi

2) Pat Anslow said:

It was like Sahaja Yoga just changed gear

That was literally a complete sea change. It was like Sahaja Yoga just changed gear. Up to that time it had just been a small group of people going around to different houses with Mother. Then She announced that She would like to have a public program and we were all mystified. We were quite frightened and didn't know what would happen. We put a big advert in"Time Out"[magazine] and we hired a room in Caxton Hall [in London] and we went there. We didn't know if anyone would turn up.

Pat Anslow

3) Djamel Metouri said:

The program started around October 1977 in Caxton Hall, formal programs, which we had on Monday. In those days, if I remember very well, I think the first advertisements were in Time Out. And at the same time, we had posters, which we put up on shops and on shop windows. A lot of the seekers actually came from the Time Out advertisement.

Djamel Metouri

4) Pat Anslow said:

In the end about two hundred people came. Mother made us sit on the stage with Her in a row, which was extremely embarrassing. Gavin [Brown] gave a talk and then Mother gave a talk and we all sat there desperately trying to look all evolved and spiritual. It was actually very painful because we felt huge things going on in the chakras" " incredible pains and movements. I remember sitting there and trying to sort of keep a pleasant look on my face and being in agony.

Pat Anslow

5) Bala Kanayson said:

When I first came to Sahaj, I went to a meeting [the first meeting held at Caxton Hall] at which there were about half a dozen very sick looking people sitting on the stage and Shri Mataji was sitting in the middle of them and there was an English guy, rather scruffily dressed, standing and talking. I was in the audience of about thirty people and I had gone because the advertisement said"your divine birthright"And"no money will be taken"Which rang true for something spiritual. I thought I would check it out before I went to India to find my guru.

I sat listening to the Englishman's talk, which became extremely boring and I thought," I can't sit here any longer and I am going to leave.”

As always, I had sat near the door so I could make a quick exit. Just as this thought came to my mind and the energy flowed to my legs to stand up, Mataji signalled to this guy, who was boring me to death, and asked him to stop talking. Then She got up and started talking. It was everything that I had expected, at least verbally and mentally.

When we were supposed to feel the vibrations, I didn't feel anything at all, but I did feel something happen in my heart when Shri Mataji said," All I am here for is to give you love.”I felt this distinct churning in my chest, which was the only experience I had that day.

Bala Kanayson

6) Djamel Metouri said:

Most of the seekers, virtually ninety per cent of the seekers who came in those days, were from other movements, false gurus of all kinds. In fact, we used to work almost exclusively on people who had been to other false gurus, some on drugs as well. A lot of them, if they were more hippyish, of course, they had done drugs. Mostly they had either been in drugs or they had been to false gurus. She used to work on them individually and She gave them so much love. She really worked very hard.

Djamel Metouri

7) Pat Anslow said:

And then bang! It worked out. Everything had changed. Suddenly Mother was down among the audience, worked on everyone. The whole hall felt like one family. And then the whole thing changed. We had seventy people coming to the ashram, to see Mother for long weekends.

Pat Anslow

8) Bala Kanayson said:

Shri Mataji came down and looked at all of us and She looked at me. I was sitting at the back, as I said, ready to make a rapid exit. She said something to me in Hindi from a distance and I thought," Well, you know, if she is a guru, how come she doesn't know that I can't speak Hindi?”And then She told one of the older yogis that was with Her that I had"got it"And, of course, I felt nothing. And then Shri Mataji came up to me, stood right in front of me, put Her hand over my head and said," You've got it. You've got it!"And I replied," No, I don't feel anything at all.”

Now, there was a person sitting on my right, who started saying," Oh wow, I feel it. I feel it!"And I thought," You know, this is just auto-suggestion.”And then the person on my left started saying," Oh, I feel the Cool Breeze.”Meanwhile, I felt absolutely no breeze at all.

I was quite disappointed. And, of course, Mother was insisting that I'd"got it.”So, for a sceptical aerospace engineer, just out of college, that wasn't very helpful.

Bala Kanayson

9) Djamel Metouri said:

Just barefooted students

Now what I actually remember most is the fact Sahaja Yoga was not at all what it is today. It was so informal as well. First, we didn't have any programs which were with a lot of people. We used to go and meet at Gavin [Brown]'s place on a Sunday afternoon. Mother used to come by train to Victoria Station and then She would come by taxi.

We didn't have this. One of the things I find, when you look at Sahaja Yogis today, now they all have cars. They all go and organize their programs. They all have money. They have all kinds of means. They have a lot more facilities than we had at the time.

I remember when we were staying at Finchley, in the ashram, we started organizing meetings at Caxton Hall, but we never did anything like today, which means we didn't have all the facilities like having cars and vans and things like that. We were just barefooted students. We used to actually take a picture of Mother and take anything we could take" " candles and incense and so on" " and we went by bus. And I remember in the early days, even Mother coming by train to London from Oxted, where She lived. And then She would take a taxi. And I even remember Her coming by tube to come to the program at Gavin's.

It seems that we have come a long way. A lot of Sahaja Yogis don't realize that their standard of living has risen so much. They don't realize that Sahaja Yoga never started like this. You know, it started with very little means, with the very little that the Sahaja Yogis that were there at the time had. And, in fact, the Sahaja Yogis used everything they had in their hands to help Sahaja Yoga.

Djamel Metouri

10) Derek Ferguson said:

This Sahaja Yoga's really good

When I first came to my first meeting, they said," Sit down, you'll gain this experience.”And they told me what chakras I was catching on. I was catching on left heart, and they said," Something to do with your mother.”So afterwards I thought," Ah, yes"because I'd left home and I wasn't contacting my mother a lot and I was doing plastering and I had a pain in my left heart. I thought it was something to do with overworking because I used to get home and just collapse, so tired. So I thought," Okay, I need to contact my parents more often.”So I went to see my mother. I thought I'd see her anyway, but afterwards I discovered because she was worried about me, I was getting the pain in my chest. And as soon as I went round there and said," I'm all right. Everything's fine," it fizzled. It was like someone had hit me in the left Heart. It was really painful. So when I had gone round to see her" ""I'm all right," this and that, she stopped worrying. That pain went away. So I thought," Wow, this Sahaja Yoga's really good.”

And when I left the meeting my whole body felt light. I skipped all the way home. I felt," Wow! I've found it.

Derek Ferguson

11) Gail Pottinger said:

We were very smallish

I remember Maureen [Rossi] giving me a poster which Mother had put vibrated kumkum on and it was for Caxton Hall, the earliest Caxton Hall program. Mother just put kumkum over the photograph. And Maureen gave me one of them.

Gail Pottinger

12) Djamel Metouri said:

Yes, She took a whole pile of photographs and She rubbed kumkum on the pictures so that" " these were small posters we used to put in the shops because we thought if Mother vibrated them there would be a greater chance that they would attract seekers at the time. But we didn't have these large posters. We didn't have all these fancy things. We were very smallish. And Mother used to get down off the stage and would go round the hall working on people. She would talk to people. She would hug people. She knew what everybody's problem was and She would talk to people in a very personal way, trying to resolve their problems in a very personal way, including their health problems, their family problems.

In the early days Her attention was very much on the seekers who were lost, lost following other false gurus. And Mother used to blast all these false gurus whenever She spoke. She doesn't perhaps do it so much today because things have changed, but in those days She could see that so many seekers were lost. And, of course, many of the talks in Caxton Hall were about blasting all these horrible gurus who were just torturing the seekers.

Djamel Metouri

13) Linda Williams said:

Powerful stuff

Mondays, whenever She was in London, Shri Mataji used to hold public introductory programs at Caxton Hall [from October 1977 to May 1983] near Her flat in Victoria. Mother would give a talk, then give Realization and would then work on the new people. Of course, later on this was how we all learnt how to work on people, as we would walk round the hall with Shri Mataji and sometimes She would have us work on people, asking us to feel their vibrations and either showing us what to do or ask us what we would do.

When Shri Mataji Herself worked on new people, She would say the mantras differently" " not"Aum twameva sakshat Shri Mahakali"or whichever deity She was invoking, but She would say," Aham sakshat Mahakali.”That means," I am Mahakali.”Powerful stuff!

Linda Williams

14) Marilyn Leate said:

She was creating the collective

I attended my first Caxton Hall program in the early summer of 1978. In those days, Mother held programs every Monday near St. James Park in Victoria, London. Even outside Caxton Hall and across the road there was this sensation of tranquillity. There were three of us, we were late and Shri Mataji had already begun the program.

Caxton Hall seemed unusually beautiful that sunny evening. I felt like a child. There was a small lecture room with shoes, sandals and chappals piled up outside. Inside Shri Mataji was seated on an armchair, upon a slightly raised rostrum in front of the window. She had Her left hand upon the Sahasrara of a young woman who sat on the floor with her back towards Shri Mataji, slightly to Her left. There were two or three other young people sitting on the rostrum around Her Feet.

My first impression was of a large, confident personality, full of warmth and humour, completely different to the silent, little Madonna I had expected. Her hair was loose about Her shoulders, Her arms seemed huge and powerful. I noticed Her gap-toothed smile.

As we entered, She broke off from the talk She was giving to greet us, calling out a jovial"Hello. Come, come. Are you new?”

A small international group of alternative-type young people were seated respectfully on rows of chairs, facing Mother, with their hands out, palms upward. Shri Mataji indicated for us to go and sit near Her on the rostrum. She told us to close our eyes and to put our hands, palms upward, out to Her. Then She asked those seated around to watch and see if our eyelids flickered. Mine did and somebody pointed it out. When She turned to me and inquired about my fluttery eyelids, I told Her that I occasionally suffered from tension, although I felt so peaceful there. She said," Oh, my poor child"And got me to remove the giraffe-hair bracelet that I was wearing. The fluttering stopped.

She told us to stop thinking. It was very easy. I felt wonderful. She turned to me a couple of times, saying to the others," Look, she's beautiful.”I looked around me and everyone was radiant with innocent, open faces. Shri Mataji seemed to work on each and everybody.

She was the nucleus, calling out to every one of us whilst we worked," How is she?”or"Where is he catching?” "Has she got it?”We were all taking vibrations from Her, whilst we worked and meanwhile She would be personally working on someone else" " and often giving a talk at the same time. Sometimes She would sit someone down in front of Her and then ask everybody," How is he? Which chakra is blocked?”

Marilyn Leate

15) Pamela Bromley said:

We were just so joyful

We used to go to Caxton Hall from Brighton every Monday and we'd come back and because there was nothing written into that single sheet that was on the chair, we'd say," Did you hear this?”And"Did you hear that?”Just so exciting" ""Did you hear that Ganesha is Christ?” It would be such a contrast, we'd be laughing and everything, singing on the train. We were just so, so joyful, weren't we? We noticed it so much.

Pamela Bromley

16) Gail Pottinger said:

The amazing thing at Caxton Hall is Mother used to get off the stage and actually walk and work behind people. I've actually been there when Mother's actually got off the stage and actually gone to work on people, sitting down there.

Gail Pottinger

17) Felicity Payment said:

Shri Mataji always made sure that everyone got their Realization by moving around the room, working personally on each new individual.

One time, after She had given Realization, I was still sitting in meditation when my mind began to fill with dark thoughts. Without realizing it, I was becoming increasingly overwhelmed by the anxious and troubled feelings they were producing. Suddenly, through this dark fog, I heard from behind me Shri Mataji's voice calling me," Felicity!"I jumped up somewhat startled and guilty" " I always felt guilty" " and turned around to see Shri Mataji two rows behind me busily working on some new seeker. I moved closer and waited expectantly. Then She looked across at me and said, with great love and compassion, as if willing me to understand," Don't you know I have more power in My little finger than all the power in the whole world put together?”And the dark fog went away. She pulled me out of it.

Whatever She was doing, She always knew exactly where everyone was at and what everyone was experiencing. She had Her attention on everyone, all at the same time, and always gave to each person what they needed.

This incident produced such a comforting feeling in me that Shri Mataji knew what was happening inside of me and that She would always protect me if I let Her.

Felicity Payment

18) Marilyn Leate said:

She worked tirelessly on people

Towards the end of each Caxton Hall meeting, She would take a lighted candle and stare through it, with Her eyes wide, looking towards certain individuals who had Agnya problems. As a bhoot got blasted, She would call," Ha! Better now.”

People brought limes and chillies to Her and She would vibrate them, either by a gentle touch or a bandhan inside the bag. She worked tirelessly on people, often using Her Feet, as well as Her hands. She made chopping movements in the air to destroy negativity. Individuals would stand with one hand towards Her and the other out of the nearby window. She recommended Tate and Lyle white cane sugar or Sainsbury's for the liverish and She would vibrate it for them. She spoke a lot about the liver" " how it was the seat of our attention, emphasizing how badly Western diets and alcohol, medicines and too much thinking and too much chocolate ruin the liver.

In those days, we were not discouraged from raising our kundalinis and putting on a bandhan in Her presence whenever we felt like it. We used to raise our kundalini with our two hands parallel, rather than the right circling the left.

Marilyn Leate

19) Maureen Rossi said:

It was just like being an apprentice

After the Caxton Hall meetings She would have us back to Her flat in Ashley Gardens. It was almost like a debrief. We would go," Phwah! What a night!"And there would be food. If any new person was astute enough, they would come with us. They would say," Where are you all going?” "We're going back to Shri Mataji's place.” "Oh, right.”And you would know it would be right because they would have the awareness to kind of come. I mean, Mother wouldn't let them in otherwise.

Maureen Rossi

20) Djamel Metouri said:

One of the things we used to dread" " and we were only a few Sahaja Yogis" " we used to dread all these programs because what happens is we used to have programs at Caxton Hall and then people used to come back to Gavin's place for follow-ups, where Mother could actually work on them individually and give them more individual attention. And one of the things we used to dread were the catches, you know, as soon as we got into these meetings, you know, often I had a headache. After a while, when we had experience when you actually worked on someone you knew from which false gurus they came from, according to the catches. From the catches you actually felt, you start to get experience.

Djamel Metouri

21) Maureen Rossi said:

After this particular one, Mother said to me," What on Earth have you been doing?”And I said," Oh, just working on these people, Mother.” "You don't get involved in it!"And then She had to work on me and it was a real lesson. It didn't matter what state the people were in, you didn't take it as a personal sort of thing. So not only were we supposedly helping Mother, She would then have to sort us out afterwards. It was just like being an apprentice. You were allowed to have a little go and then She would have to put it all right afterwards, rebuild the whole apparatus afterwards.

Maureen Rossi

22) Djamel Metouri said:

After meetings at Caxton Hall, She used to try and bring back as many Sahaja Yogis to Her flat and bring back some of the other new seekers to work on them. She always had people in Her flat in those days, always had people that She worked on. She always showed Her concern and She treated everyone equally, whether they were seekers or not. From the moment they came to Her, She felt like a duty to work on them. She would give them all the love, but She always, of course, favoured those who had a thought for the collective, for the whole.

Djamel Metouri

23) Marilyn Leate said:

We all trooped up there and were given cups of coffee. She continued to work on people. She just gave and gave. She asked me to put my hand on Her left Swadisthan and put my other hand out. I felt an incredible force going through me and my arm shook slightly. Mother looked at me and said," Powerful, isn't it?”

Marilyn Leate

24) Malcolm Murdoch said:

Before the public programs at Caxton Hall, you know, we'd sort of sneak" " I certainly would, I know" " I'd sort of sneak around to Mother's house in Ashley Gardens and sort of be there before the public program to see Shri Mataji. I think we always, you know, had respect for Mother, but we did push it a little.

Malcolm Murdoch

25) Gail Pottinger said:

We had respect for Mother, but we had such a desire to be with Mother physically that we would always try to be in Mother's presence. And we were always rushing from one place to another or always running around the back to be there when Mother came out of the meeting and be there at the front when Mother came in the meeting. And we spent a huge amount of time running, didn't we, around the building to be at the right place to see Mother.

And so it wasn't that we didn't have awe for Mother, but we just wanted to be with Her so much, so we perhaps" " and we weren't aware of all these protocols, were we? Sometimes we didn't know things and it wasn't until people like Chaya [Camille] came from India and started to tell us a little bit about protocol.

Gail Pottinger

26) Bala Kanayson said:

The difference between the cool and the heat

I was at a public meeting, again in Caxton Hall. I had been coming to Sahaja Yoga for a few months and a Sahaja Yogi, one of the"first four hippies," worked on me from the back, particularly on my Agnya. All of a sudden, I began to feel this tremendous Cool Breeze flowing. After that, I moved to the right side of the hall and sat down behind a guy who had very long hair and a beard and looked like one of those hippies.

In those days, Shri Mataji used to come by and talk to each one of us. She came up to me and asked me," Are you feeling the cool breeze?”And I said," Yes.”Then She told me to put one hand towards Her and one hand towards this long-haired person. The hand towards Mother felt this fantastic Cool Breeze, whereas the one towards this guy felt tremendous heat. As I was doing that, this man turns around to me" " I can't remember exactly what he said to me" " something like that he didn't like me at all and something very nasty to me. He said he had felt this antagonism to me right from the beginning. You know, it was the first time I had felt the difference between the cool and the heat and it was a bit of an interesting experience, but nothing to convince me that this was spiritual or that Mataji was the guru that I had been looking for since the age of thirteen.

Bala Kanayson

27) Linda Williams said:

The sane people were not seeking

After the program Mother asked me to come onto the stage and She began to work on me. I remember feeling a fit coming on. Mother explained it was a possession and, if I really wanted it to be taken out fast, the best thing was to lie under Her Feet, as it was from Her Feet that the most powerful vibrations came. I did this and felt as if the universe was in battle within and around me. Apparently, I more or less had a fit under Mother's Feet and then remember as if a great dark cloud was lifting and that was the end of it. There were no more fits.

Mother later told me I also had leukemia. Somehow none of this mattered because within a day or two I knew I had been blessed to meet the Adi Shakti, the queen of Heaven, and that was all that was important.

In fact, a few days later, one of the Sahaja Yogis at Dollis Hill [ashram] showed me a chart with the chakras and their qualities and the deities that went with them. At the Sahasrara was Mother's name," Shri Adi Shakti Mataji Nirmala Devi.”I asked the Sahaja Yogi why no one had told me this was who She was on the first day.

On one of those early days and early meetings, Mother told us that in those early days we were all a bit mad, but that the sane people were unfortunately not seeking God, so She had to work through us then.

Linda Williams

28) Bala Kanayson said:

Like a thick transparent shell of silence

What brought me back [after my first public programs] was that I began to feel unwell, particularly in my chest, in the area where I had felt that sensation at the first meeting. A thought came to me that it must be something to do with my experience with Sahaja, so I came for a follow-up meeting. And this meeting was interesting because at this time we didn't have all these fancy charts and so on. And it was held in one of the Sahaja Yogi's homes.

I still have this wonderful image of Shri Mataji standing on a sofa and pointing at some hand-drawn diagram of the chakras and explaining it to us and having my first footsoak sitting in front of Shri Mataji. One of the Sahaja Yogis brought a basin of salty water and She was working on me with limes and the amazing thing was that I allowed it all to happen. I mean, it was all very weird because my background had been twelve years in a Methodist school with a mum and a dad who had been through that same kind of conditioning" " plus my engineer's scepticism.

I think that whatever Mother did during those sessions cleared me out quite a lot because the next time I met Her in Caxton Hall I experienced spiritual ecstasy.

There were relatively few people in the room. At each program, She would sit down and close Her eyes and those who were Sahaja Yogis would also close their eyes. But, being myself, I would always watch what was going on, still being rather curious. On this particular day, which was the 8th of April 1978, I was watching Shri Mataji very closely and She opened Her eyes and looked straight at me. And then something very amazing happened.

She just gazed at me and I felt as though I was being pulled into Her eyes. The next thing I knew, I was being whirled into this cosmic flux, going back through time and experiencing" " yes, experiencing" " all those things that I had studied in history whizzing past me. It is truly hard to describe. I distinctly saw/heard/smelt/felt certain objects like a sabre-tooth tiger, the universe, planets, etc., until it came back to"The beginning.”And then there was nothing, just nothing. And, in the middle of this nothing was Shri Mataji.

And, you know, it was not something you consciously think about. It just encompassed me, this complete silence which was like a thick transparent sphere of silence. And I was feeling complete love and compassion flowing out of me, which I have to admit I never used to feel much of before, except towards animals and babies. And I was in tune with everything. All of nature, all of life was living and breathing with me. My every gesture made ripples and waves in this completely interlinked creation. All this lasted for three days and nights, where I was in a perpetual state of ecstasy. It is impossible to describe. It is an experience.

Back then I didn't know the formal terms for what I'd seen in Caxton Hall, but several years later, when I went to India, I told a Sahaja Yogi from Rahuri about it and he stated that it was a description of the Adi Shakti. Since then I've had other experiences of Mother, some at the oddest moments and places, but none lasting this long.

Now the interesting thing is that after I had this experience, I went back home and wrote a letter to Mother, just apologizing for having not known who She is. And the next time when I went down to London, which was the following weekend, Shri Mataji comes up on stage and looks straight at me and says," Bala, that was a beautiful letter you wrote Me.”And then She told the people that I had had a very special experience and after the meeting She invited me to Her home. And from then on I ended up staying with Her practically every weekend.

But the experience of who She is, in all Her glory, was really tremendous and I don't know if I will ever be able to truly describe it in words. As we know, She always knows the moment you have an experience like that because each time, even when She is busy somewhere and that veil" " all that hides who She is" " begins to fall away and you begin to see who She is, She immediately will stop whatever She is doing and turn to you and do a namaste" " which is, you know, the guru saluting the disciple.

Bala Kanayson

29) Bernard Rackham said:

Just to enjoy

I once had the honour to go to Shri Mataji's house in London and at one point in the afternoon I was standing on the roof garden and gazing at a beautiful magnolia in the neighbour's garden. I remember wondering how long it had been there and how much money it must have cost.

That evening, Shri Mataji addressed a public program in London and, during it, Shri Mataji mentioned how important it was just to enjoy, that it was silly that some people would look at a flower and waste their time thinking how long had it been there and how much did it cost.

Bernard Rackham

30) Linda Williams said:

Chicken and rice

Mother has often repeated the miracles done by Lord Jesus. There was one which She did at Caxton Hall in London. Mother was invited to dinner at 10 Downing Street, with Her husband and the Prime Minister, Maggie Thatcher, among others. It was Monday and Mother came to the program looking beautiful and ready for the dinner. But Mother had insisted on cooking a meal for us. So that morning we had gone to the meat market and had bought chicken legs. I knew that we bought not more than eighty portions. Mother made a delicious chicken dish and we took the pots to the program and served it out after Mother had left, on Her instructions. I was serving the chicken and went on, meanwhile, counting the portions. I got to over a hundred and just kept dishing out the bits. There was just enough, very odd" " loaves and fishes, chicken and rice.

Linda Williams

31) Kingsley Flint said:

Completely transformed from top to bottom

We had the Monday program near to Shri Mataji's flat and then we would go and spend time with the yogis eating afterwards. She'd come. She'd come and eat with us sometimes. Yes, She did occasionally. What did I eat? Well it was all firsts. I'd never had hamburgers, never had Italian food, until then. Then my life was totally transformed at the age of thirty-one, completely transformed from top to bottom.

Kingsley Flint

32) Linda Williams said:

She worked out the catches through us

At the end of the part of the program [at Caxton Hall] where Mother gave Realization, She would say," Anyone who felt the Cool Breeze, please raise your hands above your heads.”After the program we would often go to a local restaurant called the"Spaghetti House"And sometimes Mother would come, too. One evening while we were there, Mother asked why so few of the Sahaja Yogis put their hands up when She asked that question week after week. We explained that very often we would not feel coolness at the public programs, rather heat pouring off our hands, so thought it was not honest to put our hands up. Mother told us that we should put hands up because we had felt the Cool Breeze at some time. She explained that She worked out the catches at the program through us, to a certain extent, and that was why we felt such heat.

Linda Williams

33) Marilyn Leate said:

Programs everywhere

Mother held programs everywhere, from Hindu temples, where She spoke to the resident Hindus, encouraging them to accept Christ, to the Quaker meeting houses.

Marilyn Leate

34) Pamela Bromley said:

I want to come to your meeting

Mother phoned me up and I picked up the phone and She said," it's Mataji here. And I want to come down to your meeting"When we had our first public program [in Brighton England].

Most of the people at that program were from Brighton. In fact, they all were. I think it was in December" " maybe it was in March" " 1980. It was the first public program in Brighton, after the Guru Puja in London. And we hadn't had our Realization very long and it was one of the first programs outside of London. And I remember writing all the posters and we were amazed that there was a Cool Breeze coming out of the posters. The wording was"Come and find yourself.”We thought the whole town was going to be jammed with people coming. The program was going to be in Hove.

A few days before the program Shri Mataji came and said She was going to come down to this program. I was the only one with a car and I had to go and pick Her up at the station. I put the children in the back and didn't even have time to empty the ashtray. I remember saying to Mother," I am having real problems trying to stop smoking.”And She said," Never mind, Pamela. Whenever you want a cigarette, just think of Me.”

Anyway, we got to the station and we were a bit late and there was no sign of Mother at all. We knew Mother was coming by train and then the train came in and we saw Mother in the distance, at the far end of the platform, coming, walking and behind were all the yogis. And She arrived and She said," See how the train waited for us?”And so, suddenly I was early and not late.

And we got to the program and all our friends came. Actually, nobody else came from the posters, except all our friends. And they didn't all get Realization, but it was a very interesting program.

The next public program in Brighton was in March 1980 and that was the time when Mother gave that amazing talk about the beginning of creation. And that was the time when Mother came and stayed in the house and there was a music program and we cried when She left. And She said," Don't worry. I'm not leaving you. I am with you always.” And that was the first puja that was done in the basement room of my house in College Gardens [in Brighton].

Pamela Bromley

35) Pamela Bromley said:

Like all my other good friends except they were seekers There was that man who had that agoraphobia and he always came to the programs drunk. And Mother said," Look after him. Take his address.” And he used to come to the meetings drunk. And this went on for months and months and months. And finally, it turned out he had agoraphobia and the only way he could get out his house was to have a drink. But not once did any of us say anything. Anywhere else, we would have lost him. That is just how we were. And no one ever said a word. And people did used to be marvelous. After the programs, at the end, we couldn't leave. We couldn't leave each other. Perhaps we were a bit too huggy-huggy.

Pamela Bromley

36) Kingsley Flint said:

You always have to remember that when you do programs, it is the love and enjoyment that keeps people in. It is what kept me in Sahaja Yoga. It is what attracted me because I didn't want a guru. I didn't want all that funny business at all. And it was the fact that when I first went to see Shri Mataji, the hall was full and She saw this girl I was with coming and She said," Come in, come in. There's seats at the front.”I was with a girl who was a girlfriend of a friend. And when she was invited to go on Shri Mataji's Feet, she didn't. And that was the beginning of the end for her. Whereas, I understood something about that and it seemed very natural. Because Mother was just so motherly and the yogis were so normal, like just all my other good friends, except they were really seekers.

It was very impressive meeting Mother because She was just so" " She was talking common sense, that's what struck me. It was very natural and normal what She was saying and delivered with such love. It wasn't a question of"Oh, the vibrations"or"Oh, some kind of vision.”It was just beautiful.

Kingsley Flint

37) Pamela Bromley said:

She was so loving also because we knew who She was. Because there were so few of us, we were just so full of awe all the time. And, of course, Mother then was a new risen Mahamaya, but it was actually Mother that we loved and we wanted to make tea for Her and we wanted Her to love it and like it. And it was all these things. We were like children.

Pamela Bromley

38) Kingsley Flint said:

No, but we are like children, Pamela. We still are. I feel that really you have to try and keep that freshness. it's important. And when you have new people coming, you have to remember how it was for you because otherwise you just throw stuff at them and it's nothing. I mean, people can see whether you're genuine or not.

Kingsley Flint

39) Djamel Metouri said:

Sahaja Yoga had changed beyond recognition

Before we had the programs in October 1977, we had all these meetings at Gavin [Brown]'s place on Sundays and sometimes in the middle of the week. She used to come, exceptionally, because She lived quite far away anyway.

What I remember is She had so much love that She worked on certain people who came to these meetings, even though they were not necessarily great seekers. They were more interested in gaining the favours of their girlfriends or because they had a marriage problem or because they had a specific problem, which was a personal problem. Mother never felt that these people were a burden on Her. She never showed it anyway. She always worked on them with so much love.

It was an intermediate period, during which many people came to Sahaja Yoga and left and Mother did work on them without ever putting any demands. She always let people chose what they wanted to do. She never forced on people that they should stay in Sahaja Yoga. She always showed a lot of concern for them, for their health, for their well-being. But it paid off. It paid off because, once we started the programs, then we had real seekers, a whole wave of real seekers coming into Sahaja Yoga. And Sahaja Yoga had changed beyond recognition, after just a few months. Even though, of course, for, I would say, until the end of 1977 and throughout 1978 we still had these smaller meetings where the core of Sahaja Yogis used to come and Mother used to invite us in Her home.

Djamel Metouri

Related Articles:
Memories of our Divine Mother Shri Mataji 1
Memories of our Divine Mother Shri Mataji 2
Memories of our Divine Mother Shri Mataji 3
Memories of our Divine Mother Shri Mataji 4
Memories of our Divine Mother Shri Mataji 5
Memories of our Divine Mother Shri Mataji 6
Memories of our Divine Mother Shri Mataji 7
Memories of our Divine Mother Shri Mataji 8
Memories of our Divine Mother Shri Mataji 9
Memories of our Divine Mother Shri Mataji 10
Memories of our Divine Mother Shri Mataji 11
Memories of our Divine Mother Shri Mataji 12
Memories of our Divine Mother Shri Mataji 13

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