Arwinder, what it is to be a spirit?
"This self (atman) of mine that lies deep within my heart—it is smaller than a grain of rice or barley, smaller than a mustard seed, smaller than even a millet grain or a millet kernel; but it is larger than the earth, larger than the intermediate region, larger than the sky, larger even than all these worlds put together. ... [This atman] contains all actions, all desires, all smells, and all tastes; it has captured this whole world; it neither speaks nor pays heed. It is brahman. On departing from here after death, I will become that." (Chandogya Up 3:14, 3-4; Olivelle, p. 12)
29 September 2006
In the late afternoon two days ago on 9-27-2006 i took Arwinder, my 16-year-old son, to the clinic as he had some skin rash. While waiting for the doctor i decided to ask him about the spirit as he had told me earlier that his visits into his Sahasrara were now getting less. In other words, as he was maturing he was meeting the Divine Mother less frequently. (Lalita also has been telling me the same for some time now.) That is why i decided to ask him about the spirit as i was having some difficulty understanding what it is to be a spirit? Since Arwinder meets the Adi Shakti in the Sahasara in his spirit form I expected facts based on firsthand experience:
i) i asked him if you can cross and pass one hand through the other
or for example across the neck. He replied that you can, and even
pass through fellow spirit beings or any obstacle for the matter.
ii) so if you can cross the hands and pass them through each other how was it possible to sit on Shri Durga's tiger? Arwinder replied that the spirit can assume any form to do any task. If the intention of your spirit is to sit on a tiger you will—the spirit just does that effortlessly.
iii) is it possible to feel one's heartbeat? In the first place, does one have a heart? Arwinder said a spirit has no heart or any internal organ for the matter.
iv) can the spirit assume any form? Arwinder confirmed that it can. The spirit can experience anything it desires - an insect, tree, animal, human being, mountain, ocean ......... even an entire planet or galaxy. It can contract into the smallest size or expand into the largest. But he clarified that one is always conscious of being the spirit. In other words, while experiencing being an ocean you are always conscious that you are still a spirit. Thus from a ocean you can easily become an entire galaxy, but at all times ever conscious of being a spirit. This consciousness of being spirit is always there.
v) so what is the spirit form at all times? What are you when you walk or sit? Arwinder said being the spirit and walking is like experiencing the wind. He said as a human it is really difficult to explain/understand this experience as there is nothing similar to it. The wind is the best he can come up with as the form of spirit is not solid.
vi) do you sit in front of the Adi Shakti at all times when you meet Her in the Sahasrara? He replied that there are times when She is not there but that does not mean anything as She is always present in Her invisible form and knows when you are meditating. All you need to do is meditate, whether She is before you or not. The point he was trying to make is that meditation should not be confined to Her actual presence in the Sahasrara because She is everywhere, within and without! Everything is Shakti.
Later the same evening i had a deep meditation that was full of vibrations and bliss. This continued into yesterday (and today too). There is something about the knowledge that brought forth this state of mind.
But I had forgotten to ask Arwinder one question—did he actually experience being a tree or insect?
Yesterday, as i went with him to get his contact lenses, i asked if he actually experienced being a tree or mountain, since he was so sure. He replied he never had experienced being a tree or mountain. Naturally I asked," So how do you know?"Arwinder replied that the Adi Shakti had given and explained this knowledge to him. Then did he ask Her to explain about the spirit? Arwinder replied that he never asked but the Divine Mother explained about the spirit on Her own accord. In fact She had over the years enlightened him about a number of spiritual issues.
i asked why he did not tell about spirit before? Arwinder replied he was never asked. Neither did he offer to spill out the remaining knowledge the Adi Shakti had given him. (The only time he did so was more than a decade ago when on August 9, 1995 he declared that he meditates with the Adi Shakti, and explained his experiences in detail. He was five.) Maybe that knowledge will be revealed as and when necessary and i have no desire to extract it yet. The Shakti has Her own way of making that happen.
Now i know why over the past two days i am having deep meditations that are full of bliss and vibrations. It is because the knowledge of"spirit" is coming directly from the eternal Shri Lalita Devi who resides in all Sahasraras. It is knowledge that the Divine Mother wants humans to know. Aham Brahma Asmi (I am Brahman) and Tat Twam Asi (That Thou Art) makes more sense now. i now want to be Silent for a few days to savor this Divine Nectar from Brahman Herself.
Jai Shri Ganapathi,
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